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Archive for October, 2012

Meditation is a great tool for helping us relax, find peace in our mind and hearts, and transcend the physical world.  However, there are many different ways to use meditation, and many different meditative states. But how can we meditate when we feel so anxious?

If we’re just starting out it helps if we can identify how we can use meditation to meet our current needs!  So this article is for those who suffer from anxiety, and don’t know how to best use meditation therapeutically.

When we suffer from anxiety, because our fear-based mind processing controls our future, our mind can feel like it is in control of us!  The blend of anxious thoughts perpetuate anxious emotions, which can propel our fear-based fight and flight response, which activates even more fear and anxiety thoughts.  This process then becomes habitual, where it feels as though our life is lived on a roller-coaster of high/low anxiety states, that overtake our creativity, and often leaves us exhausted.

It is this exhaustion that can be most helped by using meditation to calm our thoughts.  But if you’ve never attempted meditation before, or failed to be able to use it with good results in the past, then rather than giving it up as a bad job, it may help to understand how to best work with meditation, whilst we are anxious.

Step 1 – Why Meditate?

The first step for anxiety meditation is to understand why you are doing it!  So, if you are overwhelmed by anxiety, the reason you would use meditation would be to calm your mind.  But if you’ve got loads of anxious thoughts entangled in your mind, how can you feel calm?  So you need to understand what happens when we meditate, when we are highly anxious.

Step 2 – Understanding The Process!

When we are anxious, our mind is filled with ever-increasing, provoking, reactive thoughts, that stimulate our reactive behaviour – whatever that may be. Including anything we use to make ourselves feel better, that helps our attention escape from our mind, emotions and problems.  However, if you’re sitting quietly, trying not to think anxious thoughts, the first thing that will happen is that a flood of anxious thoughts will automatically and naturally rise, and fill the empty space that has just appeared in your mind.  This is simply your mind feeding your habitual anxiety thinking, and is nothing to be alarmed about. Although distressing, it is still a process, that we can learn to manage, that will make life so much easier! We just have to learn how to become the observer of our own energy!

Step 3 – Watching The Energy Release!

So, whilst you are sitting quietly, and the anxious thoughts have started to pour into your mind, instead of catching the thoughts, thinking about and analysing them, thus feeding the habit which will increase your anxiety, there is something else you can do with them! As however distressing the thoughts may be, when you recognise that internal pressure created from the thoughts in your mind is just ENERGY, you have the power to release it, and thus feel less anxious and exhausted!

This energy release is accomplished by using the space that meditation provides, to facilitate our ability to conceptualise  energy in a tangible form, which we can consciously and deliberately manipulate to best suit our needs, by the use of visualisation.

If you doubt your ability to visualise, imagine this now… See yourself holding  a couple of red balloons on a long string.  Are they large, small? See them bounce in the breeze.  Then let them go, as you watch the balloons drift away in the sky!  Anyone can visualise – as whilst you may not actually see through your eyes, you just have to allow yourself to imagine in your mind’s eye!  You do it all the time – that’s why you get so anxious!  You believe what you think is real – so use this approach when working with energy!

There are a couple of methods I find really helpful, which involve using visualisation.  Here is one of them….

Method 1

*Whilst we can work this way with any part of our body, this example is based on the pressure in our mind.

Feel the tension in your head (or any other part of your body). Imagine the bombardment of thoughts in your mind as an energy form, say something like a grey or black cloud.

You have the intention of releasing this energy, so keep your focus on the cloud – not on the contents of your thoughts.

As you see the cloud of anxious thoughts in your mind’s eye, see it as a stream of energy that has a beginning and end, rather than a cloud shape.   Although you may be able to see the wispy beginning of the stream, you probably won’t be able to see the end yet – it will be too dense!

The beginning of this energy needs to find the nearest exit point, to be able to leave your energy system.  This can be through your mouth or through the top of your head – the crown chakra point, or other chakra points.  Identify which exit route your dark energy naturally flows toward, then mentally watch as the stream of dark energy starts to move away from your mind, through the exit point, out into the universe where it can be transmuted and healed. If you have problems identifying an exit point, simply direct the energy to the top of your head and use that one!

As you sit quietly, acknowledge the increasing anxiety thoughts that rise, keeping your focus and attention on the stream of dark energy exiting your mind, watching it flow, slowly, quickly, until the river of dark energy comes to an end. Where as the end of the river disappears from view, you know by the way you feel that the healing has been completed for that time.  If more anxious thoughts start to rise, repeat the process of anxious energy release.

How Much Time Will It Take?

You can choose to allow a specific amount of time to work with your energy, or give it as much time as it needs to be released from your system.  It can take just a few minutes to bring enormous relief, once we’ve developed the ability to focus our mind clearly and explicitly! However, when I first devised this method of working, it wasn’t uncommon for me to sit for a couple of hours, as I learned how to work with my energy, and feel the benefit of negative energy release. Until gradually, instead of using meditation for anxiety release, I was able to insert another purpose, governed by my needs at the time. Always remember though – you are in control of it!!

Warning!

Meditation practice involves allowing our mind (or consciousness) to roam free.  However, when anxious, depressed, paranoid, or in any other heightened state of emotion, it’s not a good idea to expose ourself by jumping in at the deep end this way, whilst we’re working with spiritual or universal  energy.  Maintaining focus on our intent, by using visualisation, helps keep us on track to self-healing, and keeps us safe.

To increase our protection, it’s also wise to image ourselves wrapped in white energy, whilst working with the unfamiliar aspects of universal consciousness.

Meditation is a wonderful tool, that serves so many purposes.  So when we ask ‘How Can We Meditate When We Feel So Anxious?’ if we remember to start slowly, with the purpose of releasing toxic energy from our energy system, we can gently learn how to allow ourselves to find the peace and tranquility we yearn for.

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I named my blog site The War Dance of the Mind and Soul for a reason….because I wanted to be able to speak about the variety of things that cause us so much pain and struggle in life, that in order to survive, we have to find a way to positively resolve.  Getting over the end of an affair definitely causes us huge problems, on every level, and so to survive it’s important to look beyond the affair and our feelings about it, and identify what we need to see because of it!

We don’t have to be lacking anything to embark on the fantasy adventure that an affair offers us.  It can and does occur simply because we feel an attraction for the OP, that we want to take to the next satisfaction level.  However, many people who enter into an affair often say their long-term relationship was unsatisfactory, unfulfilled.  They felt taken for granted, unnoticed, unrewarded, bored!  Their life was in a rut, they didn’t like or love their partner any longer.  They no longer had communication in their relationship! In other words, they wanted more from their lives than what they had!

There are many reasons why people get involved in affairs. We know they cause problems, we know people will get hurt, and yet we still do it – because we think we will find something in our life that’s been missing! We think we have found true love!And whilst the relationship is in action as it unravels it’s possibilities, and we are caught up in the drama and excitement of all that the illicit dance of intimacy evokes, our attention is on how we can get more of what we want, and how we can keep it forever! And thus, avoid returning to the emotional state, whatever it was, before the affair started.

Affairs are not simple things to manage, because there are complicated emotional and mental processes in action, that if not managed in secrecy will create a knock-on effect that could seriously hurt other members of each family involved.  And yet knowing that an affair could cause us or others immense pain, is not always enough to stop us having affairs.  Or hankering after someone we can’t be with, after the actual affair relationship has ended!

There are various stages to an affair that we need to process, because each stage has the opportunity to lead us on a route containing separate stages, that lead to different outcomes. Affairs stimulate a really complicated emotional and mental process, which would take too long to write about here. So to simplify, we’ll call the process stages the beginning, middle and end.

The first beginning stage is filled with exhilarating, exciting moments where we have to look at us and what we’re doing – and decide whether to still ‘do it’ because of how much pain we’re going to create, through our lust-filled deeds and thoughts!  Whereas the middle contains the all-engrossing ‘What If’s..’ that lead us on a merry dance to heaven or hell, and back.  Where we ride the often uncontrollable, roller-coaster of ups and downs, that fear, yearning, sexual impulses, personal satisfaction, and ambivalence can create!

The stage that leads to the end of an affair is less appealing.  Because this is where we have to face the consequences of our actions, and deal with unwanted, negative emotions and impulses, that drive us to make decisions that work against our highest good.  Feelings of being rejected or not good enough, make us prone to pressure from the unrealistic demands of others. Whilst guilt, anxiety and fear, caused because of whom we have hurt, calls for punishment we deem justified, from others, or even via the righteousness of God!

And because we experience that terrible emptiness inside, where the once empty void had been filled, but now the stimulus of the affair has gone is emptying again, we can find it hard to imagine that life will get any better for us in the future. And wonder, with regret, whether the affair was worth getting into at all! But now it’s too late for that!  It’s over and done with.  Been and gone!  But life isn’t back to normal.  In fact whereas before the affair life was sort of chuggling along okay, in it’s own way, nothing in life feels right now!

So what is an affair really about? Say you’ve become involved with someone who you fantasise about, become obsessed with.  You can’t wait to see them, hear their voice; it makes you feel so much better!  You may even have become physically involved with them, where the powerful memories and thoughts associated to sexual drives, feed every sensation in your body and soul! This is soooo powerful!  It’s not surprising that it makes you believe in the impossibilities contained within your secret world!

Everyday life and relationships are put on hold because your attention is on the Other Person – the one who possibly has the key to getting most of your important needs met, maybe forever! They have hardly any faults, they treat you okay.  ‘With a little more time I’ll get them to treat me exactly how I want!’ we gleefully remind ourselves, remembering how ?? doesn’t.

We make everything sound so simple, or complicated, as we erroneously contemplate that our life would be complete (or so much better) if we were with this person who has so much that we want.  We’ve known them for such a short time, yet they know us, see us, accept us in a way that no-one else has – so it must be right mustn’t it?  ‘We can tell each other anything!’, ‘We communicate on every level!’. ‘How can something so good be wrong?’ we say!  ‘Other people could get hurt, of course they could. But isn’t my happiness worth fighting for?’ we ask ourselves.  ‘Don’t I deserve to have some of what I want in my life, regardless of how ?? feels about it?’.  ‘I’ve done this for ?? for years, now it’s my time to have what I want!’.

Our mind, being the dream machine in action, will try to convince us more…‘And if I don’t have the OP in my life to give me what I’m missing, where else am I going to find a way to feel as I do, when I think about them?  The hopes, dreams, fantasies that fill my mind!  These things make me feel good on one level, yet bad on another.  They make me confused of course, but I can deal with that. As there’s this thread of a dream that is still alive … if only I can hold on to it. If only the OP would want me as I want them, if only I/they weren’t married to ??, then we could be together.  And unlike the ?? relationship, I know we would make this one work, and our life would be perfect (after we’ve sorted out all the crap that goes with long-term relationship breakdown of course)!’.

Fantasy thinking can make us feel great! But this is all it is usually…fantasy thinking that leads us to believe in the unlikely possibility that we can get what our ego desires! And when the reality of the situation hits, which it inevitably does, we’re not ready to deal with the fallout, and it’s often us who gets hurt the most. Because we know we can’t undo our past actions, wind the clock back, go back to where we were originally, before we met the OP!  Thus we increase our suffering, because we don’t know how to deal with our future!

When any relationship ends we enter various levels of the grief process.  This means that for a time, because we have broken dreams, we may feel sad, bad, unhappy, and could be plagued with feelings of regret, shame, anxiety, guilt and fear, that overwhelm our capacity to settle back into our relationship with ?? and life! Also, when an affair ends we mistakenly believe that should be the end of the matter – but it isn’t!  How could it be when something that feels so good has entered our lives and then left? We can’t help but wonder if we’ve failed yet again, can we? Thus our reactive self-protective nature steps up it’s need to prove it is safe and worthy, causing us even more problems!

Because so many thoughts, emotions and memories have been stimulated, they now have to be processed!  For if they’re not, we won’t be able to let go of conceived ideals about us, our life, the affair relationship, and our future, and it will make our recovery more difficult!  As regardless of who, what, why, if we’ve been involved with someone who makes us feel something good, that we’ve not felt before, or for a long time, we have to be aware that regardless of what we believe about them, this other person does not hold the secrets to our life that will make us forever happy. Nor do they have the power to make our life complete!

So this is probably the most important part of any affair… When it ends, as it usually does….HOW DO WE RECOGNISE THE SPARK OF LOVE AND LIFE THAT HAS BEEN AWAKENED WITHIN US – AND FIND A WAY TO NURTURE IT FOR OURSELVES!

When our passion for life has subsided, there’s little to stimulate the exhilarating feelings that new creative challenges can provide for us.  So when we engage with an OP, who pushes the buttons that wake us up and bring us back to life, it feels great!! It feels like THEY are the powerful ones who have made us want to live again.  But they aren’t – they haven’t!  All they did was to help us recognise that we wanted more!  But we’d become complacent!  We didn’t know how to get more!  We didn’t even know that we needed more, as we thought we were happy!  We thought we were coping inside! But meeting them made us see that we weren’t!  We were just slumbering within the mundane habits that we’d created our life around!

So the crux of getting over an affair seems to be about finding a better way to manage yourself and life, in such a way that is stimulating, filled with new challenges, has plenty of opportunities for you to meet new people and excel in what you enjoy doing!  This means instead of constantly thinking about the OP and what you are missing about them, or reminiscing about opportunities that might have been if you were still with them, you make the real effort to refocus your thinking, and concentrate on you, your life, your actions, and your future dreams!

And whilst you are getting over the end of an affair, although you are thrust back into the old world, with the old ways and the old partner, things don’t have to be the same as before do they?  For if nothing changes within that relationship, you will continue to experience the same feelings as before! As whilst guilt and fear will motivate different responses between you, they are not always enough to light your light!  Only you can do that by actions you take, that help you find peace in your awakening heart and troubled mind!

Please be aware that when an affair ends, your life starts something new!  There has been a part of your soul that has been awakened to love (or lust).  Doesn’t matter which really, as they are both very creative!  If you had not met the OP this part of your soul may not have awakened.  But now it has, it is your responsibility alone to make sure that you nurture it.  Help it to grow!  Remember how you felt inside during the early stages of the affair.  Remember the excitement, the surge of energy, the optimism, hope and new-found ability to dream creatively.  This is yours to keep and use to your best advantage!  And it can be found in other ways rather than using an affair!

Helping your soul to flourish, by discovering a better way to stimulate your inner happiness, is part of our life’s work!  We need other people to help us identify what we need.  They cannot always provide it for us, but they can show us there is another way!  If your life isn’t happy, rather than looking at others to fix you, look at you and what actions you are or aren’t taking, that could make your life feel better or worse! It takes a lot of strength and courage to pull ourselves out of the self-created rut, we inadvertently create as our life! You have this strength.  You have the courage! You can change your life for the better!

So, if you are still suffering because you have been struggling to come to terms with Getting Over The End of an Affair, instead of thinking about the OP, start thinking about what you need to do now, that will lock into the passion, your passion, that was stimulated by the OP.  Make that your new project that you can think and dream about!  Anything creative will use the same energy!  Writing, singing, reading, dancing, talking, teaching, painting, playing musical instruments, exercise, writing a journal, meditation, learning new skills, re-decorating, starting a new project, etc.

If you think more constructively about your own life, there’s so much you can do! And when you take action that necessitates you making the effort to get a consequential reward/outcome, you will evoke the emotional satisfaction that makes you feel good, and encourage you to believe that you can achieve more than you have before!

Affairs touch our heart for a valid reason!  To help us grow, to learn, to change who we have become!

Please don’t let your affair destroy your life or your Soul!

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I’ve been feeling in a quandary for a long time about my lack of ability to focus on me, my work, and earning money that would make my life a whole lot easier.  I know responsibilities I have toward vulnerable members of my family don’t take ALL my time and energy.  At least they don’t need to!  But there’s still the issue of where I put my attention when I’m alone at home!  Do I think about my stuff and what I need to do about it, or do I continue to worry about other’s problems, feelings and needs, and concentrate on how I can best help them feel better! It is usually the latter, I’m afraid to say!  But this way of living isn’t working any more for me.  Something has to change – and quickly!

Life is about ebbs and flows of intensity it seems, and this week for me has culminated in being a time of extreme emotional discomfort, as my problems magnified my emotional intensity, irritating panic, and need to find the answers that will take my life off of the ‘PAUSE’ button – at least for a time!

I am assertive and can usually ask for what I want and need!  But lately I’ve felt my internal power reducing, my confidence weakening even further!  ‘For Gods sake, how much lower have I got to go before I see what I’ve got to do, what I’ve got to change’ I cried in frustration, as I could still feel the nausea in my solar plexus, that I’d been feeling for the past four days!  ‘Why won’t I let myself sort me out?’!

I’ve been taking a remedy given to me by my friend Gary Johnson, an expert in Cellular Vibrational Therapy (http://www.garyjohnson.org.uk/gary-johnson), after I’d asked him for help a couple of weeks ago.  So I realised that as his powerful remedies always work on really deep issues, the emotional intensity I was experiencing was probably caused by the remedy, pushing the energy of those issues to the surface, to be released!  Because I like to understand what’s happening to my energetic system, I usually try to work with the remedy and identify how I’m feeling and why, and if there’s anything I need to do to help myself further!  This time was no different, so because I’ve felt so intense, I’ve dedicated this morning to me, and decided to meditate in order to intuitively find some answers!

As I meditated I was interested to see my Sister of Mercy appear.  She normally carries a very large folder containing loads of loose papers, but this time the folder was much thinner, with just a few sheets of paper remaining.  I’m always working on my progress, one way or another, not always with obvious results I would add!  Thus it became apparent that whilst I’d been feeling so frustrated, because I thought I wasn’t moving forward; on an energetic spiritual level I’d actually got rid of old baggage (represented by the reduction of the huge file).  This made me feel better immediately, as now I know I’ve not just been wasting my time!  Then she showed me a page which said simply…’Chrissie Batten – The Psychicologist’!  Strange – I’ve never heard the word ‘psycicologist’ before, but I’ll definitely give it some thought!

Feeling more relaxed I placed my attention on to why I felt so stuck.  There’s always a logical reason for everything we do, often hidden deep in our unconscious mind. So as I needed to find the internal reasoning that was ultimately blocking me from living my own life, I asked myself… why wasn’t I meeting my needs?  Why did I consider other people as priority over my life?  As my mind started to wander along recent memories of family members I’d been helping, who I worried so much about, I started to get echoes of the past, to the time of my father, who died in 1976.

It might help you understand if I provide a bit of background info!  My parents separated in 1975, after he had a ten-year on/off affair with the office secretary. The shame of this event at that time felt really bad, and my mother was filled with toxic emotion that had no-where to go, as there was no such thing as ‘counsellors’ then!  What could she do?  So when she’d had enough of the lies, deceit, being made to feel bad about herself and life, she gave him the ultimatum! They’d been married over forty years, yet he chose the other woman over her, even though he’d promised to stop the affair many times!

Anyone whose parents have split, will understand the pain and turmoil that happens to children who are caught in the middle, who get pulled emotionally in so many different directions. As regardless of how much we try to stay out of it, or protect them from it, we can’t!  I was twenty-eight at the time, married with one child.  But it still like felt my world had fallen apart!  When my own marriage failed in 1999, I was very aware that my adult children would suffer as much as I did.  And although I knew I’d made the right decision for me at the time, I deeply regretted that this had to happen to them!

Anyway, back to dad!  When affairs occur, there’s also an element of wishful thinking, such as ‘If only we could find a way to be together all of the time’ which dulls the reality of common sense! The OW had children, and also a child by my father.  So when dad moved in with the OW he spent what little money he had on replacing her washing machine, fridge, cooker, buying stuff for her and the kids (he wouldn’t spend anything on my mum).  But soon there were problems!  Who can escape them?  The husband wanted her back, started trying to woo her in various ways, and kept pressurising her to throw my dad out of their house.

Although my dad no longer had contact with my mum, he used to visit me regularly.  One day, when he was eating dinner, he started crying.  I’d only ever seen him cry once before, when I was about nine, after our pet dog had been put to sleep. So it sort of startled me, to see him sobbing in front of me.  When I asked him why he was crying, he said it was all about the split-up and the problems he was having because of the OW and her husband!  ‘But I thought it was what you wanted’ I exclaimed to him, not fully understanding, in my naivety, why he was crying about getting something he wanted!

He thought he needed money to keep the OW, but he didn’t have any – he’d already spent what he did have on her.  We’ve never been a rich family, and the truth is money has always been tight!  So I never had any spare cash I could give him!  I had £2 left in my purse, and told him he could take that.  But he said it wasn’t enough! As now he didn’t have enough work as a driving instructor to ‘buy’ her, she wanted him to leave.  He’d told her ‘The only way you’ll get me out of here is in a box!’.

He was my dad, and it hurt to see him in so much turmoil.  Him and mum had only been separated for three months, yet it felt much longer! I was also in turmoil, as I wanted to tell him to go back to mum.  She’d forgive him!  I knew she would, because although she was so angry because of what he did, she still loved him! But he’d mucked us all about for ten years, he’d made his choice, now he would have to deal with it!  I didn’t tell him this though!  I just gave him a cuddle, and said it would probably take a bit more time for it all to sort itself out!

When he rang the next week on Thursday to ask if he could come over that afternoon, I was busy with some school stuff!  So I said I’d see him the next day, Friday, when I’d cook him a nice dinner.  I asked if he was okay, he said he was!  That night, at 11.30 pm, I was on the phone to my mother. As we lived twenty miles apart, we had late night chats!  Whilst we were talking I felt worried when I heard her doorbell ring!  ‘Be careful mum’ I said to her, ‘ask who it is, before you open the door’!  I listened on the other end of the phone, tensely waiting, wondering why someone would be calling so late!  I pictured my mum opening the street door, hearing the door open.  There was the sound of low voices before I heard my mum making a sound I couldn’t make out.  She came back on the phone and said ‘I’ll call you back in a minute’, before slamming the phone down on the receiver!

Have you ever had that terrible feeling of being absolutely powerless in a crisis?  Well that’s what I felt then! I knew it must be something serious because of the late night visit.  But from whom? My mind started to race in fear. Twenty minutes later I apprehensively rang my mum, when she told me that it was the OW at the door, with the police.  ‘Tony (my dad) had taken an ‘overdose’, the OW had said.  ‘He was dead!’.

Actually, it didn’t take an overdose to kill him!  He used cyanide, where just a couple of granules is lethal!

So he’d thought about it, planned it, even spoke about it!  Yet no-one had heard him!  There was an inquest, where a letter was produced, that he had written to Marjorie Proops.  She was a famous Agony Aunt of that time, on T.V. and radio, and used to write in newspapers and magazines.  In the letter he spoke of his pain and confusion, and fear of being rejected by the OW.  But he never posted the letter – it was in his jacket pocket!  However, Marjorie Proops did get to hear of it, and replied through the media, where as she spoke of the letter and it’s contents, she wrote something like… ‘This poor man had no-one to turn to for help when he needed it most’.  Which infuriated me at the time, because he did have someone.  He had his wife and family.  He had me!  So why couldn’t I have stopped him from doing what he did?  Why didn’t he tell me how bad he felt?  Why didn’t I realise he was so depressed and desperate?

The dysfunction thinking that ‘If only…’ statements create, abounded at the time… and since…

*If only I’d seen how unhappy he was, I might have been able to talk him into going back to mum!

*If only I’d intervened somehow, and made sure he and mum stayed together!

*If only I’d know what he was planning I might have been able to get him some help!

*If only I’d had more time, and could have done more for him!

*If only I’d not said no, when he asked to visit me that day, he might still be alive!

*If only he hadn’t killed himself, I would not be feeling so bad!

So there it was…the reason why I find it so hard to refuse help to those in crisis!  My fear that I was somehow responsible for his death!  And the fear that only overwhelming emotional pain can manifest, that I was afraid I would not be able to cope with it again!

Logically I can say that I wasn’t responsible for what he did – how could I be?  But deep down I wonder whether, if he had visited me that day, he might have been able to express his intent, as a cry for the help he so desperately needed.  I also wonder whether the reason why he wanted to visit that day was to ask for help, or to say goodbye?

I was probably the last person he spoke to!  …But he died feeling unloved!  …But we all still loved him so much!!

This has been a powerful realisation for me today!  I knew I had these thoughts of regret and guilt locked away deep inside my mind and heart, and have often worked on them in the past.  He committed suicide over thirty years ago. But there were residues left, that were enough to create the preventative logic that I created as a consequence of my father’s suicide, and which goes something like this….

….‘I must stop people feeling too overwhelmed, in case they can’t cope and kill themselves, or become ill and die(other childhood issues created this)..BECAUSE…I can’t cope with this (loss) happening again!’.

Deep rooted fears can, given time, often present as a self-fulfilling prophecy! This almost did, whilst I contemplated my own demise, which I may write about another time!  But for now I have more self-healing to do, by monitoring my motivations, thoughts and ensuring I walk the right pathway for me .  And now that I understand the reasons why my personal logic was so protective toward others, in order to protect me from suffering further, I feel more able to take appropriate, corrective action, and say ‘No, I can’t do it today!’ when necessary.  But it’s not going to be easy, as even as I write this I can feel the panic rise when I make that simple statement!

Small steps in the right direction though, eh! Better get another remedy ready Gary…!!

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There’s so many people suffering with anxiety and depression at the moment, who believe they are powerless to change what’s happening to them.  Their mind and emotions fill their whole being with dread and fearful thoughts, panic, and emotional rushes of irrational terror, that appears to have a valid cause, creating even more fear thoughts and feelings.

The most obvious option, when we’re feeling overwhelmed by ourselves, is to visit our doctor.  But whilst prescribed drugs may appear to be the easy answer to ‘curing our malady’, the consequences of drug addiction and side effects paint a more disturbing picture, that can dramatically increase our suffering! And whilst we would do ANYTHING to find a way to feel better, we must remember that even though we’re not thinking straight, we can still think.  We can still make decisions, albeit with help!  We still have choices!  We still have our personal power!  We can still help ourselves! And whilst all of these things may be temporarily disabled by our dark mind, our light mind is still there, waiting to return us back to full awareness!

I have suffered with depression all of my life! YES, even as a young child!  I’ve had breakdowns, agoraphobia, eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorders.  Oh dear, that makes me sound so weak, sad, needy and wrong (residues of old programming).  And as I write this and say what I have, I feel the shame still sitting in my stomach.  The shame that I couldn’t cope!  The shame that I thought I was mentally insane!  The shame that I was not strong enough to cope with me!

I have battled with my mind and emotions for as long as I can remember, and I know what it’s like when you feel as though you have lost control of your mind, your life, your future!  It is ABSOLUTELY… FUCKING… TERRIFYING!!!

But, even though you feel terrified, scared, despairing, alone, futile, worthless and powerless – YOU ARE NOT going to remain this way!  All of these feelings are created because your mind is low (simple term for serotonin imbalance/ low vibration mind creations/lack of confidence).  So whilst they may be true of the moment, because that’s how it feels, there is usually SOMETHING we can do to help ourselves in some way!

There are different types and levels of depression, with different causes, which I won’t go into here.  As my point of writing is to let you know what made the biggest differences to me, during my worst times!

The whole point of depression is to create change to our lives!  It helps to understand this! But once we enter into it, we have to work our way out by doing the things we’ve been putting off prior to feeling unwell – like doing things that are good for us, make us feel happy, reduce our stress, support our physical, emotional and mental well-being!

Be aware that everything that is happening is of an energetic nature. When we’re depressed we’re caught up in negative energy vibrations, which won’t release until we deliberately introduce positive energetic elements into our life.  Positive and Negative energetic forces are as strong as each other.  What matters is where we place our energetic attention.  If we constantly focus on how bad we feel, we will attract more negativity into our lives, which means more negative thinking and feeling.  And even though it feels the hardest thing in the world to do when we are feeling so bad, refraining from keep talking about how bad we feel, and using positive thoughts as affirmations, are the easiest ways to introduce a doorway to the light into our darkened world!

You don’t have to believe affirmations when you say them initially. Just use the words to open the door to the light! Every morning and any time I felt overwhelmed I’d say ‘All is well in my world.  I am feeling healthier and better each day!’. Of course I didn’t believe this statement, as I felt so bad all the time. And to be honest, even though I know what I know about spirit, energy, life, me, I didn’t believe anything could help me to feel better! But after a while I noticed how this thought seemed to stop the fear thoughts that were trying to surface!  Eventually as I became more convinced that small improvements to my mood were appearing, and thus used the statements with intent to create a better and healthier me, I created a new neural pathway that I could use to escape the compulsive rise in terror, panic and anxiety!

Don’t believe your thoughts when feeling depressed. These type of thoughts tell us lies, unless they are positively driven to healing and aiding your recovery! Our ego-driven fear wants us to stay weak so it can stay strong! Accept that you’re not well, your thoughts are not accurate at this time, and resist the urge to get carried along on the platform of panic, that constantly tries to knock you off your feet!

When we get surges of anxiety and panic it’s better to let them rise and pass by saying ‘I allow these thoughts to rise and pass’ instead of catching them, analysing them and believing their fearful messages!  Feel the energy run downwards through your feet, or upwards through the top of your head as you make the statement! Learning to work with our own energy is very empowering on all levels of our being!

Regardless of how unmotivated you feel, aim to achieve at least one thing each day.  Setting yourself a target and reaching it encourages positive chemical reaction linked to pleasure.  And although you may not feel it at first, setting seeds this way will provide a platform for further positive focus and action!  The target need only be small.  If you’ve been laying on the couch every day for a couple of months/weeks, then taking a walk during the day is a breakthrough!  If you’ve been putting off paperwork, chores etc., choose one from the list and make sure you do it.  Keep it easy and simple to start with.  I still use this approach to keep me motivated!

We need sleep to allow our turbulent mind to rest.  But too much sleep has an adverse affect that can make us feel worse.  When we’re depressed, even though we feel exhausted, we have to make ourselves more physically and mentally active, to stimulate our Serotonin levels.  Walking, dancing, meditating, positive conversations, reading a good book – anything that moves our energy towards positivity! This is a real big challenge!

Drugs and alcohol exacerbate depression, and although they might help to act as a sticking plaster, they do not help it or us long-term, in any way!!  There are many complementary therapies that are great for rebalancing our energy, and that do not involve ingesting harmful chemicals. And although you have to pay for this type of therapy, you have the power to choose who helps, and what help suits you best!

When we are caught in depression, it can feel like our world has collapsed.  Everything appears so bleak and futile, and we wonder if our life is worth living!  And the worst thing is knowing that we are the controllers of our progress or fall!  We are the ones who determine how long we stay depressed!  No one can fix us! But all this is controlled by the thoughts we think, the actions that we take! And though the days and nights may be long and painful, there will be good thoughts and moments popping in now and again.  And as you start looking for and counting these good moments, they will turn into hours, then days.  Then eventually, there will be more good days than bad!

I now realise depressive feelings are something I’ll have to manage long-term.  I have to be aware of the signs that motivate me to take evasive action, like getting more sleep, sorting out the strife in my mind, doing something for me – just for me! Life is changing for us at the moment, causing many problems.  And whilst there may be a specific problem that has caused your reactive depression, that you feel unable to change, I want to remind you that you can and must work with your depression, as that is the priority problem now!  Working against it, resisting it or giving in to it, will only prolong your suffering!

I feel quite frustrated whilst writing because there’s so much more I want to say.  But I promised myself I would keep my articles brief, as I know I get carried away sometimes!

So my heart cries out to all of you who are suffering from depression … ’Please don’t give up!  Don’t let fear destroy your life!  Please allow other people in to help you motivate yourself into positive action!’.  As even though you are walking through the tunnel of darkness at the moment, fighting the trials that depression bestows upon us, you are so much stronger and braver than you think you are – with or without pills!

You are the hero at the centre of your storm.  You must make sure you win the battle of light and dark aspects of your personality by choosing to use the mind that wallows in love, not fear action!

You can and will win.  I know.  I’ve done it many times!!

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I just went to bed, but an intense thought motivated me to get up and write this blog!

I’d been feeling unsettled for some time, about the turbulence in so many of our lives.  ‘Is there no-one who is happy, confident, optimistic, and whose life is in perfect order?’ I asked myself!  My worry thought surfaced, and I needed to do something with it.  But what could I do?

Then, it occurred to me that there may be others with a worry thought they might just want to express.  So that’s what this blog is about today.  A place just to leave your worry thought!  There’s no need to explain your thought, or reply to posts, unless you want to of course.  It’s just a place to share your thought and free it from your mind!

So here goes mine….

Hi, my name is Chrissie, and I’m worried about the escalating problems in the world, and wonder how bad they will become in the future, and if life will ever become ‘good’ again?

Is there a thought you would like to share……?

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