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Posts Tagged ‘Change’

For those of you who are unaware, our energy is changing! We are evolving energetically, so that we humans can continue to exist within the universal higher dimensional frequencies of energy, that are changing the earth and all that it contains.

For those of you that are interested in energy, you will already know about the changes that are being cultivated within our solar system, that will affect our consciousness; which in turn will create changes to us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, as our consciousness changes and develops.

There are so many people giving their reports, ideas, channeled information etc., about what is happening now, I don’t feel it necessary to speculate further, as I don’t think I could add anything at this stage, seeing as I don’t fully understand the mechanical process.  But if you’re not familiar with current evolutionary energy changes, there’s plenty of information to be found on the internet, which may help you understand why so many of us are facing significant life changes, and feeling screwed up at the moment.

I suppose we could categorise those who are aware, and those who aren’t.  As those who are aware will recognise and understand the disruptive forces that influence their lives, personality, thoughts and feelings, and work energetically with them…whilst those who are unaware, may blame the bad way they feel on external forces, physical illness or mental/emotional instability.

Awareness is the key I guess…!

So, energetic changes are in force that are affecting everything about us!  Yet whilst we may think we don’t really comprehend the enormity of this process, our soul is geared up and ready to be set free, to live within an energy where it can breathe, expand, and just be…!

It…understands it all, as it has been waiting for this time to come! This is a wonderful thing to know isn’t it…?

There are many people who neglect their soul prompts – in fact they deny they have a soul…believing that if you can’t see it then it doesn’t exist!  But we all have a soul… a beautiful spiritual centre that is all-wise and all-knowing.  If only we could all embrace our soul…and each others…, life would be so much better!

All of us on this earth today have souls that are aware of the current changes we are facing.  And although we’re all on different pathways, and different levels of consciousness and understanding, we are all changing and evolving energetically, one way or another!  These changes are forcing us to think differently, to change our value system, to correct our inappropriate coping skills.  In fact, the changes are making life very difficult for us…because we’re being dragged out of our historical comfort zone.

All of us are – even you…and it hurts because it is scary…!

But whilst we struggle to stay emotionally intact, as we flounder within the disruption, we have to remember that the aim of these energetic prompts is to encourage us to become different – the aim is to change, not to get over whatever, return to how we was, and remain the same!  So we have to allow ourselves to grow! To be different! To think about life using a different, wider perspective!

Energy changes will eventually change us on all levels.  But if we resist by striving to remain as we were, life will feel increasingly uncomfortable.  So it’s better if we can go…with…the…flow…! That means that when we feel the impact of our fear, instead of running with our automatic fight or flight prompts that make us panic, react or hide away, we breathe deeply, calm ourselves down, and reassure ourselves that life goes on – even though we don’t fully understand how.

Then, once we relax into our personal changes – without fearing them, and we’ve allowed ourselves freedom from our ego limitations, our mind and consciousness will start to open up to the new possibilities that lie before us… Meaning we may start to remember who we really are and what we really know.

AND I KNOW…REALLY TRULY, DEEP DOWN KNOW, THAT WE KNOW SO MUCH MORE THAN WE THINK WE DO…!

Access to the ancient unconscious is slow because it has been so deeply buried.  But we are changing aren’t we?…Becoming free from constraints that have kept us believing we are a mere human with limited powers.  Soon though, we will start to remember the truth…!

I want to write more, but my mind is reluctant to allow information to flow at the moment.  This is okay – it’s been a challenging few weeks and my mind is tired, where I’ve been trying to ‘work it all out’…!  It’s part of the process, so I can relax with it – even though it’s frustrating when my creativity gets blocked.  However, I know it will eventually pass.  Until then, for now, this is all I have to offer you today…!

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I’m prompted to write this post because of the many cases of suicide I’m hearing about lately!  Each time I hear another person has killed themselves my heart cries out… ‘NO’…’THIS IS NOT RIGHT’…!!  I feel it’s dark shudder through my whole being! Every week it happens! Every day someone kills themselves because they can’t cope with their problems, their relationships, their emotions or their life!

This is not right…how can it be…these are our children, the people of the future…?

I feel so frustrated…!  I feel so sad for these people and their lost life…!  I recognise their terrible anguish and feel compelled to do something to help – ‘But what can I do?’ I ask myself…! How can I help change someone’s mind if they feel determined to take such action?  How can I convince someone that whilst they may be suffering now, their future contains wonderful experiences they would be desperately sad that they’d missed?  How can I communicate to them that once their life is gone, they will have missed all the opportunities for healing and growth their soul had signed up for? How can I prove that life is filled with both light and dark times, and whilst they may be in bleakness now, the wonderful times filled with love and light are only a breath away…?

And how can I help them understand that they are so much more, than their physical reality…?

I have personal experience of suicide… my father committed suicide aged 53. I have fought and resisted the compelling demons myself on more occasions than I would like to admit. I’ve friends who’ve lost a relative through suicide, and I’ve worked professionally with clients who have felt suicidal.  So…let me tell you a little about what I know, and maybe, just maybe, there will be someone reading this post that will benefit from my words, and NOT kill themselves…!  For I know, without a shadow of doubt, that suicide is not always the best solution…as it simply causes more suffering one way or another…!

Many people are feeling overwhelmed by their experiences of life! The problem is that because there’s so many hurdles to face, we’re not getting the rough and the smooth times that allow us to consolidate what we’ve learned – to reassure and calm ourselves down. Whereby when life seems wrong or broken, and nothing feels good enough, depression can slowly edge its way into our existence, or pounce on us unannounced, as we struggle to cope with the upsetting turbulence in our life….!

So, it helps to understand that challenges can help us grow…otherwise confusion as to why we have to suffer dominates our whole being and convinces us that we, or others, are the sole cause of our problems, when really they’re not!

Our internal and external worlds are changing more than ever before, and there’s so much pessimism nowadays it’s difficult to rise above the storm of opposition we face almost daily.  However, one major thing I’ve learned, is that life is meant to be challenging – for a good reason…to help us grow stronger!  As it’s during the times we feel most alone, burdened and weak, that we’re compelled to find inner strengths to cope with our situation.  Each time this happens (let’s call it a hurdle), we learn something new…a piece of wisdom that will help us better manage our future.  As regardless of how difficult, painful and hopeless our situation appears, there is always a way through it…somehow!  Even if it does mean finding ways to come to terms with what we’ve lost, or accepting what we can’t change, or stepping up and accepting responsibilities to ourself or others, that take us out of our comfort zone!

We’re meant to grow stronger through our challenges – not give up!  And whilst, when feeling weary, we may decide to opt-out of the rat-race for a time, we must remember that life is, and always will be transformational and transitional.  Where everything comes and goes in its own time!  And whilst there will be times when we can speed things up or slow things down, there will also be times when we can’t stop things happening.  As there are some external things we can’t control, and there’s things like our mind and emotions that we can control, but don’t, because we don’t know how!

Sometimes we have to fight ourselves and our egotistical mind to get what we want, and resist taking action that can harm us or others, or that can impair our future happiness!  This means when we think we can’t take any more, or go on feeling this bad any longer…we step outside of our immediate circumstances and look to the universe to provide what we need.  Religion doesn’t need to come into play here…just the realisation that we are energetic beings living in an energetic world, where we are the creators…!  We create many situations by things we do, say or think…so if we acknowledge the part we’ve played in getting us where we are (without beating ourselves up), then we can see where we’ve gone wrong, and maybe identify what we can do to put things right!

Thus, when feeling desolate, we have to force ourselves to remember that even though we’ve got enormous problems that seem insurmountable now, given proper attention they will reduce over time. Offering us the opportunity to embark on a new pathway, that will lead us to better and different things than we’ve previously known!  This is why our life is often referred to as…A JOURNEY…because that IS what it is…!  And thank goodness for that…because even though we get upset when we lose the things we want to keep, it also means that given time, our bad times will also eventually pass!

There’s a variety of reasons why people commit suicide, ranging from being overwhelmed with life, painful emotions, uncontrollable experiences; those suffering depression; those who overdose with their addictions, and those with terminal illness who choose not to suffer any more than they must.  And whilst we can recognise the contributing factors that prompt suicide thoughts, it’s the inability to control both our external and internal worlds, that create the overwhelming impulse that makes us want to self-harm!

There are those who condemn suicide as being wrong, and others who accept the more fatalist way of thinking that states… ‘It’s their choice’, or ‘It was their soul plan’…!  My own view?….Personal experience has taught me that we kill ourselves when we are acutely depressed or distressed by overwhelming problems, and believe there is nothing better to live for…!

We can kill ourselves on the whim of a single impulse, or we can plan our actions methodically.  We can be frantic in our actions, or we can be calm and collected! We can intentionally mean to kill ourselves, or we can attempt suicide to get the professional help we so desperately need, but have not been able to get.  Regardless, we view suicide as an ‘OPTION’… because we believe there is nothing else we can do…to stop our intolerable pain!

But…suicide is NOT an option to life…!!

Suicide ends all the opportunities you may have to experience love, success and happiness in your future!  And though you can’t feel happiness now, it doesn’t mean it’s not there…!  It is…I promise you…because I know…!  You just have to do things a bit differently than before!  You have to know how to wait for, find, and grab all of these wonderful things when the time is right, as whilst awareness is the true key to success,  ignorance and lack of positive action is our biggest curse!

I understand the factors that create the impulse to kill ourselves.  The depression that leads us to believe life is worthless because we’re ‘shit’…we’ll never be good enough!  I know the feelings inside that drag our morale out of existence, shattering any shreds of self-esteem and hope that we may have left inside our weary heart and mind!  I know the panic and futility that financial, employment and relationship problems can create, where the explosion of powerlessness in your mind and emotions brings you to your knees, and you don’t have enough of what it takes to get yourself back up on your feet again.

I know the dark tunnel of despair, that is relentlessly long, that leads you to believe that it and your pain, will never end…! And I know the overwhelming impulse to kill yourself when you don’t want to live, or the terrifying experience of wanting to kill yourself, even though you really don’t want to die!

Only those who know these things, will know…!

Our will, our heart, our mind can break during our emotional journeying.  And when this happens we need to utilise all of our coping skills just to maintain some sense of balancing act, that supports us as we falter and fall from our current existence.  This is the time when many give up, believing there is nothing left to give, nothing to receive, nothing to live for.  But they are wrong!  As it’s at this point of collapse, that our world will naturally start to rebuild, stronger and better – if we allow it to…almost like a second chance…to do things differently!

When we contemplate suicide our thoughts are dominated by what we’ve lost, what we can’t have and what we can’t do.  A perception that is contaminated by depressive thoughts that lie to us …constantly telling us how we are weak or wrong, we can’t take any more of it…, life will never improve…, we’ll never get what we want… etc.  We believe our thoughts and bad feelings because there’s been nothing to prove to us that they’re wrong!

We feel pain; we feel anger; we feel numb; we cry; we are silently screaming…we are trying to decide what to do for the best!  But when there are no positives in our life, and we are not an enlightened being who has learned the art of self-management,  our options appear limited.  So we remind ourselves there’s nothing we can do to improve our miserable existence!  Nothing we can do that will take away our internal pain.  Our anguish cuts to the core of our soul…so how can we stop how we’re feeling?  How can we stop this terrifying or desolate way of life that has been bestowed upon us by society, by other people, by our own resources, by God or fate, whatever…how can we stop all of this PAIN...?

But think about this…please!  As when we’re so overwhelmed by our anguish, how can we think clearly and know what to do to sort out our life?  How can we know answers that we’ve never learned? How can we reignite our hope and optimism when we can’t see the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel of despair?  As all we can see and feel is stuckness, darkness and an intolerable urge to escape from where we are?  Whereby our real problem is not what’s happening in our life…but is probably the depression that has silently taken over our thinking, feeling, existence and life!

Thus…you are not the problem, your life is not the problem –DEPRESSION has become the priority problem which now has to be attended to first, meaning you may need help from those who can support you until you feel better – which you will, given time!

We won’t feel excitement or enthusiasm when we’re depressed, so at our worst times we have to find a way to remember…something…! Just a snippet of information that will support the idea that maybe there is a way through our turmoil.  That we will be okay soon.  That our life will be worth living, the problem will be resolved – and our pain will stop!!  We have to force ourselves to remember a little bit of wisdom, that will trigger the hope that lies dormant inside us. Hope that just maybe, we can survive this pain…that tomorrow our life will start to improve and everything will work out okay…eventually!

When contemplating suicide, we can use various reasons to stay alive…our loved ones, ambitions etc.  But sometimes none of these things matter at the crucial point of action…there is only thought of what you have to do, what needs to be done to make everything go away…!   But our perception is distorted!  Our mind is unbalanced because it cannot perceive positively!  Our mind is governed by confused negative thinking that has become habitual and destructive!  Our mind feels like it is not our own…yet we can feel more in control than ever before.  And we know, without a shadow of doubt that our actions are the right actions. We know that this…suicide…is the best and only thing to do…!

But it’s not…WE ARE WRONG WHEN WE THINK THAT!..We over react because we don’t know what else to do… to make things right…!

So let’s me try to change your perception a little…as right now you may be believing that attempting to change your life is futile, as nothing you’ve tried before has worked.  There are too many things against you…and you can’t see how you will ever get out of this mess!!  And I realise that you might not feel like reading a long article..I know how hard it can be to concentrate…please persevere though, as something I write may trigger something inside of you to wake up and fight back…!

Let’s start by remembering there’s always a beginning and end to everything.  The only thing this doesn’t apply to is energy, as  energy is infinite but constantly changing form. So to make things easier to navigate, it helps to see episodes of conflict, depression, and despair, as us being inside a tunnel we enter from one end and eventually leave by the other…the length of the tunnel varies from one experience to another, according to our attitude and what actions we take to get the help we need!

Of course we all want life to be smooth, happy and easy…but it’s not is it?  It’s filled with dark tunnels, both short and long, at various distance points that we have to transcend through, to move along our life pathway. This is just how it is and always will be!  But also remember, that in between the tunnels is our good times. And as we learn to negotiate our way through the various challenges thrown at us, the tunnels of darkness become less frequent…!

As mentioned before, life is meant to be challenging because it allows us to change and grow.  So when we face heavy-duty challenges, a set of external and/or internal circumstances can lead us into the darkness of mental and emotional despair (the tunnel), which we can move forward through reasonably quickly if we’re not depressed, by using our skills, and help from others, to get where we need to go – which usually evokes some sort of positive change to our lives!

The trouble is when we get confused, scared or don’t know how to resolve our problems, we can get stuck between the entrance and exit points – so we freeze, because we can’t propel ourselves forward. We try to move forward doing all the things we’ve done before…then we’re surprised and disappointed when nothing seems to help!  But how can we create change…when we keep doing the same things that don’t work?  So we have to look beyond what we know…take a sidestep view and consider taking positive actions we’d not considered options before – just to take us to the next stepping stone!

It helps to see our route forward as stepping-stones. It means instead of seeing the big, unmanageable problem, we try to identify small ways to reduce our problem or make it easier to cope with  – one forward step at a time, until we’ve navigated our way out of the dark tunnel, which can become a safe hiding place for a little while, or the prison we can’t escape from, that keeps us locked into our despair.

This tunnel leads us into the unknown and is where we battle ourselves to find answers we don’t know, solutions we can’t see.  And if we get overwhelmed by our circumstances, this is where depression can set in and distort our ability to think clearly or positively, and where we start to believe we haven’t got what it takes to get through this…!  But you have…you just haven’t used those skills yet.  But they’re there, waiting for you to identify them – maybe you just need someone else to help you along the way, to see what you can’t see, or do what you can’t do!  We all need help at some time…!

You are so much stronger than you realise! But how will you find your true power if you’re not given challenges? So mentally channel strength and courage into your heart….give yourself more time to learn what you need to know… find what you need to find! You are not alone…even if you feel you are.  As regardless of whether you’re religious or not, you are an energetic being, meaning you are a spiritual being with access to helpers from many realms, who can stand by your side as you find your way through the darkness.  Just trust they are there.  Ask the angels/God/deity for help, to give you strength and courage to tolerate your inner emotions and calm your troubled mind.  To send people into your life that can support you at your time of need.  Then look for them, they will be there…!

Remember, depression may be the main problem now, so whilst other issues needs attention, depression needs attending to first! If you believe you’re not depressed, but are considering self-harming, then I have to tell you that you ARE depressed.  Which means there is a chemical disruption in your body that makes your mind think bad thoughts. Thoughts that are not true! Depression makes a mountain out of a molehill, depression turns a summer shower into a full-blown wintery storm…depression distorts logic, reason, beliefs, truth…it is very powerful!  But our conscious mind is stronger, wiser…once we know how to use it in a positive, structured way!

Stuck emotional energy can make us depressed and feel bad.  One of the easiest ways I’ve found to get energy unstuck is by tapping…EFT(emotional freedom technique).  It can have immediate affect…everything you need to know about tapping can be found on-line!  It’s worth knowing about as it can reduce your emotional pain in an instant, and give you a clearer mind!

Your mind can take you into the darkness and lead you out of it!  Depression makes us think dark thoughts, whereas using positive affirmations mean we can use our mental energy to create energetic changes in our life that make us feel better.  So, when you think bad thoughts, immediately cancel them out and affirm…

 ‘All is well in my life’ or…

‘My life and situation is getting better and better each day’ or…

 ‘I am healthy, happy and well. And protected at all times’.

I know you don’t believe them now…But the more you balance the negative thoughts with positive statements, the more stable your thoughts, emotions and life will become. So say these or other positive statements often – they will create new neural pathways in your mind that can attract good things toward you, and counteract the dark thoughts.

Our thoughts can literally change our life…one way or another. You choose how…!

I also know the despair that each day brings, where instead of waking up and embracing opportunities that a fresh day brings, our mind takes us harshly back to OUR reality.  Where there’s nothing to get up for, nothing to do with our precious time and skills.  Nothing we can do to change our miserable existence.  However, I’ve learned that what appears the hardest route, is often the easiest!  So as depression and anxiety can make us feel exhausted, you may think that staying in bed or sleeping on the settee all day may be the easiest way to cope with your nothingness.  But let me tell you it just adds to your misery…as whilst you do nothing, nothing will change! So do something positive each day, however small…it will act like a stepping stone that will get you unstuck!

Taking small positive actions and physical exercise is REALLY important when depressed – it gets stuck energy moving.  You don’t have to do loads, as just walking or running around the block a couple of times a day will stimulate your mind and help you feel more grounded.  So whilst going out or being with others is the last thing you feel like doing, just remember if you do the positive things to help depression, like setting yourself small goals, walking in the fresh air for a while each day, or meeting some friends, you may start to feel better and more ‘normal’.

What you ingest plays a big part in how you feel…!  If you are taking drugs, alcohol, living on junk food or starving yourself, your physical health will be affected, which will in turn cause changes to your moods, making it feel as though they are in control of you, rather than the other way round.

I know you might not be bothered about these things, but they affect how you feel.  And if we feel bad it helps to know why…then we can take corrective action!

When we are consumed by anguish, our vision is blocked and distorted. So when facing your darkest moment, remember time changes everything!  Tomorrow could be the day your luck and life improves.  Make the decision to wait a bit longer…just in case!  As the tomorrow, that’s the start of new things to come for you, will soon become today…where today is the day you start encouraging yourself to get life back in good order…today is when you find the answers you’ve been looking for, or the help you so need!  Today is the day when life seems worth living again!

But more than that…I want you to remember this …if you kill yourself, you will never get to find what you’ve been looking for! So all of your pain and suffering would have been for nothing…your life futile…because you did not see it through the tunnel, out into the light, where you reach the part of your experience where you get to reap the rewards for your efforts!

There are so many things I wanted to write in this article, but it would make it too long…too much to take in when you feel as you do! So even though I’ve spent over a week trying to get this article ‘right’, I have to accept I can’t say it all here and I might not say it in the best way. But I hope I’ve conveyed something that will help you believe that whilst there’s so much in life we don’t know about, we have to learn through experience.  And though we may be ready to experience new things, and have to wait until the time is ready for ‘it’ to appear, we still have to take small actions to get us where we need to be. Small steps that lead us out of the tunnel of darkness and despair, and nearer to our goals!

As I’ve matured I’ve learned that the biggest problem I have in my life is me…my attitude, my expectations, my lack of self-confidence…my fear!  We are so frightened of who we think we are!  So instead of berating myself about not being good enough, like I used to, I’m glad I can see personality aspects that make life more difficult for me.  As then I can redesign them to become more profitable instead of destructive. This is good to know, as instead of trying to change other people, when we accept the power we have over ourselves we can change who we are, and create a personality that works for us, not against us!

We have to learn how to be brave…but it’s not always easy!

Life is meant to be an arena where we fight our destructive egotistic tendencies and replace them with love, compassion, trust and hope.  And as we win each battle of wills, we become a little bit stronger, a little wiser, and a bit more confident as life becomes a little easier.  I know this is true…as even though it was desperately hard at my darkest moments, I somehow found the strength inside me and waited for the future…I waited for the good things to come…!  What has changed for the better…?  Me…and my life!

I am so glad I stayed…I really hope you choose to stay too…!

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It’s easy to believe that our life, and all that it consists, is all that there is for us!

Our individual experiences, challenges, hurts and pleasures make up an existence that we accept as being normal, and become engrossed with…as we face one hurdle after another.  Stopping, starting, faltering, rising and falling, as we attend to, or try to ignore our thoughts and emotional prompts, that attempt to force us into unknown territories we have no concept of. Yet have to visit, in our search for happiness, success and peace of mind!

It’s no wonder we want to find a way to stop our confused suffering!  Many seekers are asking…’When will this all end…?’.

But who would’ve believed that we would find ourselves in the position we are today…?  As whilst many have been avidly searching for ways to find spiritual enlightenment, freedom from fear, increased connection to God energy, believing that their life would become dramatically improved once they have mastered these many skills, it’s emerged that so far, the things we’ve done in the past to improve ourselves and understanding of life, is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg…!

As whilst we’ve been focused on letting go of our individual past conditioning, that supports our fears and bad habits, I don’t think we realised just how B..I..G our search was going to be!

Whilst so many people have bravely accepted the challenge to change who they are, and have been dedicated in their quest for self-improvement and soul expansion, there are still many areas of life that have been neglected, because we never realised they existed!  And whilst we believed that our ultimate aim was to conquer ourselves, it’s slowly emerging that our true purpose is so much more than that…!

‘WHAT…’ you might say…’YOU MEAN I’VE DONE ALL THAT WORK – AND SUFFERING – FOR NOTHING?’…!

AND – does this mean I’ve got to KEEP suffering?…!!

Well the simple answer is ‘NO’ to both questions!  However, whilst we believed our remedial actions were leading us to a specific resolution, namely we would feel happier and more content once we reached a certain point of self-achievement, the true purpose for our existence is only just becoming apparent.  As our purpose for being alive at this time is to not only change ourselves, but to also….CHANGE THE WORLD!!

And as we well know, that takes time…!

OMG – not more of that crap!!  Isn’t that what we’ve been doing anyway?’……..Yes…I can hear you!!

We knew didn’t we, that changing ourselves would make a difference to the whole!  We recognised that confronting our own limitations would lead others to do the same, creating a ripple effect that would increase as we grew in self-knowledge, self-power and most importantly, self-control!  And just to reassure you, nothing associated to these changes has been wasted…everything has been purposeful!

So what I’m saying is that whilst we may have planned our evolutionary journey, say from A to Z (because that is the alphabet we know); and we measure our progress by feeling somewhere in-between A and Z…. what if ‘Z’ was not the true end point…?  What if, instead of being a twenty-six lettered alphabet, there were more letters for us to learn…say another thirty, sixty, or even a million or more letters we knew nothing about, but nevertheless still existed as part of the alphabet? Where would we be then…?

I believe that is the position we are in now – where we’ve progressively worked our way through various restrictive, damaging elements in our life – that we knew about.  Not that we’ve overcome them all, I have to add – simply that we’ve become aware of them, and so can find a way of positively managing them so they fail to hinder our existence as much!

Consequently, because of our evolutionary progression and position, we are facing the gradual emergence of unknown energetic aspects of life, that we effect and are affected by. But whereas hurtling into the unknown would have thrown us into chaos a while back, now, because we’ve been working on ourselves to control our reactive nature, we will have the skills to stand steady as the new future emerges and shows us what we need to do next!

Facing the unknown can make us scared…but when we realise that we don’t have to plan, manipulate or protect our future, we’re more likely to be able to just…GO-WITH-THE-FLOW!

And maybe that’s what we’ve been preparing for…to be able to…LET-GO… of the need to control and cajole people, things, situations, in order to placate our own needs.  And to allow ourselves to remain in trust; confident in our knowledge that we are protected, as we are being guided. Knowing that if we do fall, we can quickly and easily rise again, because we haven’t been crushed into shattered pieces!

There is a rationale to life that although has always been there, we’ve not seen, simply because we could not comprehend it.  We’ve been fighting the War Of Ego, where our minds were locked into regions that were within the parameters of human existence, and our limited understanding of what life meant.

But whilst we thought our search for resolution meant simply freeing ourselves from ego limitations, we’ve limited our potential for growth, because we’re still working toward control of something!  And, just like the possibility of the extended alphabet, we only knew what we thought we knew! But there is more to come yet…and even though we don’t know what it involves yet, I believe there is an end purpose that is more beneficial to us than we could possibly imagine!

The world is a wonderful place to be at this time, because we have the opportunity to experience change never seen or experienced before.  We have a chance to see things put right that were wrong.  To see the sick healed!  To witness the birth of a new nation of children that will evolve into mighty warriors that will protect nature’s gifts to our world!

We are here to see all this.  We are the creators of all of this.  We have the right to become the new people.  People who can love each other without prejudice.  People who care about how others hurt!  People who place peace of mind and heart above the need for materialistic toys.

But the real benefit, the real gift of being alive at this time is that we get to see it all emerge – the future we never knew about.  The elements of life we’ve yearned to experience, that were always there in the background, waiting for the right time to show themselves to us.  Waiting until the time came, when we could control our reactions enough, to not destroy what we did not understand…!

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This YEARNING feeling can cause us so many problems, pushing us to do this or that, and sometimes freezing us in our tracks because we don’t know what to do next to pacify it and ourselves.

A lot of the time we can translate the guiding message from our yearning, and accomplish a goal that provides a sense of satisfaction. Other times the yearning feeling persists, and can feel overwhelming, as nothing we search for seems to fit what the yearning needs!

Sometimes the yearning is so persistent and strong, it feels as though nothing will make it go away…this increases our anxiety and fear thinking, encouraging us to believe we’re not good enough, we’re running out of time, we’ll never find what we’re looking for…because we don’t know what it is, etc.

For years I’ve tried to tame my YEARNING, which often causes a deep pain in my heart centre.  It can be placated for a short time, then it’s back…relentless!  I’ve tried to explain it in so many ways, grief, frustration, sadness, disappointment, overwhelm, but whilst it can be contributed to by all of these, and other feelings, I think the only thing that really resonates with me is the concept that the deep pain within me is being driven by my soul, in it’s attempts to free itself from my ego!

… My soul wants to be free, my ego fear keeps it imprisoned!

This means I can work with the YEARNING, as I would any other intrusive emotion, by using it as a guide to challenge outdated or dysfunctional thinking patterns, confirm that I’m being truthful to myself and others, identify what’s really bothering me….you know the self-help story I’m sure!

As this yearning creates a rise in adrenalin, we can feel compelled to do something as we enter the fight and flight response.  When we haven’t got a goal to aim for, because nothing feels right to do, the adrenalin has nowhere to go, and we can feel as though we are imploding inside.

Calming this adrenalin is an important part of how we learn to be less reactive, and can help us identify how much control we actually have over our mind and emotions.

Freeing our soul, using our creativity, is a painful process for many. We are in a stage of evolution where our consciousness is moving toward a different higher dimension.  This transition is causing huge problems for us as old outdated patterns, fears, concepts and relationships, rise for us to release before, and as they are falling away.

It is said by many that this is the start of the new world, where love will be the energy we utilise to create our life, rather than the ego fear which we have been historically conditioned into.  How great would that be?

Life is changing for us all, and so much of our future is now unknown.  But the one thing that is consistent in all of this is that we are all part of God’s energy.  And once we can find a way to remain in that special ‘love’ state that the connection with universal God provides, I think our yearnings will cease to cause us so many problems.

So if you are struggling with your life at the moment, just try to go with the flow, and relax the ‘what if’s…!  You’ve come a long way in quite a short time…and, because you have become more self-aware, if you was getting things wrong you would eventually know and be able to correct your actions, as you’ve done in the past!

So my advice would be to relax, create, enjoy as much as you can. As us humans have still got lots of work to do before we arrive at our next destination!

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Since I’ve recently had my computer repaired, I’ve found it impossible to write anything.  I offer myself various reasons – I’m tired, can’t be bothered, don’t know what to write about.  Nothing seems significant enough for me to comment on….all lame excuses for my lack of creativity, which appears to be  having a rest at the moment!  Seems like it was more than just my computer that reached breaking point…created by enforced change!

Not only that, but instead of finding consolation, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to listen to other people’s messages of motivation.  Where an uncharacteristic, common response from me is something like old Scrooge saying…BAH!…HUMBUG!…to anything he doesn’t want to deal with!

The strange thing is that I’m not really that worried about not writing at the moment… And I don’t want to listen to ‘them’ as I’ve heard it all before, no-one is telling me anything new…etc.! (No disrespect to anyone here – it’s just how I’m feeling at the moment)!

So if I’m not writing or listening to others, what AM I doing?

Well interestingly enough, I am making decisions most of the time now…which is somewhat of a surprise to me, as previously I found it difficult to make choices which meant I committed myself to anything! Of course that reluctance is linked to my inner fear, my life circumstances, and my indecision traits exaggerated because I’m a Libran (that’s my excuse anyway)! But what has happened, that made me want to over-ride my own negative traits?  What made me want to change my habits of a lifetime?

I’m wondering whether my apparent intolerance to some things, is simply a way to make me focus on issues that are more important and relevant to ME – unfinished business and all that stuff….!  After all, this is said to be a time for letting go of the Piscean past, that holds us back from the Aquarian future.  And if we don’t change what we’re doing we will suffer the consequences of remaining stuck – and whatever they may be they will not be comfortable to experience I’m sure!

To understand this we have to take account of the current energetic changes that have taken place recently…!

There was much hype about the 21.12.12 date and how things would change.  And whilst there were those who predicted doom and gloom, I think many were hoping this event would provide the ‘MIRACLE’, that would magically fix our lives, that would give us clear insight into what we should be doing, and where we should be going!  I know I was hoping this energetic change would mean things would get a bit easier for us – as the past has certainly be harder to cope with than most of us expected!

Alas…change wasn’t going to be that easy…it never is, is it?

But whilst there appears to be no obvious changes in my life,  if I let go of my expectations of what I would’ve liked to have happened, and look back over recent months – since 21.12.12, I can clearly see how changes in my mentality have occurred , and how I am using my power in a different way than before – as since this time I am attempting to design my actions for MY benefit, to meet MY intrinsic soul needs, rather than spreading my energy over external matters that regularly leave me feeling drained and exhausted!

I am trying to manage my own energy in a different way (this does take a bit of practice), and whereas before 21.12.12 I felt ‘stuck’, for some reason since that date I don’t. And although I’ve still not got a strong energetic pull in any particular direction to express my creativity, which still frustrates me, my heart is pulsing to speak, to share, to help and assist, wherever I am driven to do so!

However, I still have to remind myself to remember, that like everyone other human on this planet, I (or my energy) is being changed.  And that I am metamorphoses in action.  Where as my energy field seeks ways to adapt and adjust to new vibrational frequencies, my physical body tries to do it’s own thing to re-stabilise, whilst my mind and emotions want to freak-out because of the unknown inevitabilities we face in the forthcoming future!  Phew…what an upheaval!

Yet strangely enough, whilst on some level I feel quite chaotic, in my heart centre my soul breathes love at last!  IT, my restricted, trapped, higher self, feels peace because it knows the time is right to be free from my human restraint.  I feel reassured that what we’ve been waiting for so long, has now started to arrive…although it still makes me nervous to know that our destination is a long way off yet…so there’s still more work we each have to do, to get where we need to be!

The journey of ego-control has been such an arduous trek, where those of us who followed our soul-guidance found hardship, challenge and intense pain, when actually we sought to find internal peace.  I know as I got deeper into our ‘ascension process’ and realised what our pathway ahead looked like, I felt such utter despair at the enormous task I’d agreed to undertake. And whereas at one time I thought that cognitive correction or reframing was all that was necessary for me to reduce my fear-filled existence, I soon realised I was actually healing my energy of pain from other times, other lives, other existences, that it had encumbered since the beginning of time.

WHAT A HUGE TASK !!! – But how can we succeed in changing the way we live, to a world filled with loving and compassionate beings, when everyone and everything else had failed in the past?

But I had to trust that the universe knew what it was doing, as man certainly didn’t!  I wanted to believe my channelled messages that spoke of self-healing first, before we can truly help others.  Messages over the many years that tried to reassure me that my fear was my own creation, that it wasn’t real in true terms, that only love could set us free from our fear-filled belief system! As I faced my darkest demons, I wanted to trust that I was protected, and guided at all times by compassionate beings affiliated to universal God energy. I had to learn that I was multi-dimensional, and that was hard!

Many searching like me, gave up along the way.  Many persevered, and have survived their self-defeating mentality.  Regardless, this is a universal healing exercise – we will all be converted back to our original SELF, at some time in the future.  The plan is bigger than human….and it has to happen – for our benefit!

We all like to know where we’re heading, as we can prepare ourselves.  But no-one really knew what would happen on or after 21.12.12.  I usually channel clear, trustworthy information most of the time that helps me understand the truth of the world, but I’ve not been able to access my sources lately, due to the over-activity of my mind.  Thus, whilst I can clearly identify the TRENDS of energy that compel us to move in certain directions, I’m having to take guidance from others, who have gained access to higher wisdom that is meant to help us evolve our consciousness. This means as I gather information, I can formulate ideas about what direction we are energetically being propelled into, confirm or dispel the idea according to my levels of global and personal discernment, leaving me with a sort of clear picture of what is happening to our species!

This is what I know so far….

There was speculation that this energetic shift would bring up old issues to be healed….This I’ve found to be true, as many childhood/past life/other issues that I’ve dealt with over the years, have re-surfaced for final healing and release, where most of the time I just had to let the memory go, so to release it from my mental and emotional energy field.

I’ve heard many people saying they are physically affected by this energy shift…exhausted, spaced out, confused, disorientated, became ill where they needed to see their GP (even holistic therapists have sought help from allopathic treatments).  This is our body adjusting to the new energy vibration, which will indicate any pre-existing condition that needs healing, that will limit our energetic capacity for expansion. So we need to listen to what our body is telling us now, at this time.  If we feel exhausted maybe we need to rest for a while, rather than keep pushing forward toward our perceived goal.

Releasing the ego has always been a big issue for us….but if it’s our time to let it go, then it will be easier to change than to carry on as we are.  Because the opposing energy will make us feel so bad we won’t want to stay as we are!

Our mind is the Creator!  If we haven’t grasped it already, this will be the time when we realise without doubt, that we are the creators of our world, caused by the thoughts in our mind!  Our thoughts, when linked to our emotions, have the power to manifest the content of our fear/love!  Regardless of whether we realise it, or like it or not, the choice of what we manifest is ours!  Be careful what you wish for….good advice at his time I’d say!

Also, it’s useful to remember….

*We are all here to help each other!

*There is no one higher than ourselves who can help our soul evolve!

*We have all the wisdom we need within our consciousness – we just have to find a way to access that information!

*There is no single miracle cure! Miracles are happening all of the time, as every minute of the day a miracle occurs somewhere, in someone’s life.  You can all receive miracles at will! You just have to be clear about what you want to receive, let go of how it will happen, and trust that it will manifest at some time – but it must be for the highest good!

*No-one can harm you once you are on your soul path, because your perception of ’harm’ changes!

Humans are going through enforced change and have been doing so for many years.  But we are involved in a process that is in its final stages of a particular phase, that will now affect us and our lives by pushing us out of our comfort zones! We can delay it if we choose, but we can’t escape it, as earth and it’s inhabitants are protected by powers that be, that must ensure our future survival.

So, rather than resisting change, it’s probably easier to stand steady and let the change occur around you.  That way you may avoid unnecessary turbulence!

However, each of us has to work with our energy, to correct our misconceptions of life, to be accountable for our thoughts, feelings and actions! It’s our responsibility to heal our own energy, to work with our soul, our higher self, to bring us back into alignment with our true God nature!

Life becomes more comfortable once we take the emphasis off others making our life easier, and face our personal challenges with gusto!  As once we start to recognise the power we do have, to transform ourselves, we may start to use it to change our world!

Have a great day everyone!

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Although I’d decided to write a series of articles under the title ‘Inside The Mind of a Fat Person’, I’ve found myself really struggling to get started on this third one. So I needed to identify why I felt reluctant to write more on this topic, as I’d already faced my personal demons and taken the challenge to expose my ‘fatness’ to the world, when I wrote the first article on this subject.

However, after examining my reluctance a bit more closely, I was quite surprised to find that I’d been avoiding writing about being fat because…

1) I didn’t want to be perceived as a ‘victim’!

2) I didn’t want to be condemned for not losing the weight!

3) I didn’t want to be criticised for speaking my truth!

4) I didn’t want people to pity me, or feel sorry for me!

In fact, if I’m totally honest with myself, I’d say the basis of my writing difficulty was that I didn’t want to be seen, noticed or even acknowledged!….Gasp of frustration…Deep conditioning created over my many years, that still impacts me now…!

Blast – I thought I’d come past all of this crap!!

I don’t know why this realisation surprised me, as I know myself very well!  I know the self-doubt I face each time I make a choice, or face an important decision.  I recognise how I talk myself out of moving toward the direction that could make me feel happier and more fulfilled, because I feel ashamed about the way I look!  I totally accept that I am the controller of my own destiny…yet it still upsets me that so many of us FP put our lives on hold, until we lose the weight that keeps us rooted to the isolation of our imagination, that convinces us to believe, without doubt, that we are not good enough as we are.

It’s normal to doubt ourselves during childhood.  But when there is ‘An Issue’ present, including overweight, then life takes on an avalanche of unlimited possibilities for personality destruction, because the child perceives they are judged by others according to their ‘issue’, thus doesn’t know who or what to be as it matures into adulthood! In the case of obesity, life becomes filled with questions about what’s right/wrong/good or bad food, what you should/shouldn’t eat, when you should/shouldn’t eat!  What you should or shouldn’t do or wear to make you look thinner, less fat! What you must or mustn’t do to get noticed, avoid being seen,  get attention, and be acceptable or invisible to others!

Eventually, life becomes filled with self-doubt, self-debating and self-berating, where instead of embracing who we are, and allowing ourselves to reach our full potential as we mature, we struggle to find a mode of being that makes us feel acceptable to the limitations of the outside world!

In many cases we question everything, until we reach a point where we imprison ourselves in our own negative emotions, that dictate that shame and guilt rises each time we consume anything!  There is no enjoyment to be gained from mealtimes – only guilty pleasures that make us feel ashamed and regretful, after we’ve digested the delicious mouthfuls of food that just for that moment satisfied us, made us feel better, or pacified our despair!

FP/TP want to be considered normal. But how can we feel normal when we react so badly to eating something as small as one biscuit, or a couple of pieces of chocolate?  Don’t normal people eat these things?  Of course they do!  The difference is normal people usually stop when they’ve had enough. Or, if they do binge, they do not repeat it on a regular basis.  But because FP have so much emotional agenda that rises when they eat forbidden food, their impulse to eat is stimulated by the bad way they feel. Which makes it almost impossible to control their appetite, because they are being driven to over-eat by impulses created from their emotional discomfort.

Our self-perception is strongly influenced by the way we look, so when we try to manage or control weight issues that make us feel inadequate, our mind is geared-up to give us what we want to get or avoid.  The problem with this is that we create a ‘perfect rule-book’ in our mind that is often unworkable, because it’s unrealistic.  For example… we decide to go on a diet, stick at it a couple of days before our resolve starts to falter, and we eat what we shouldn’t. So we come off the diet feeling we’ve failed – we’ve blown it yet again!  This repetitive process builds-up shame and guilt energy within our persona, that guarantees we will continue to fail in the future – because we don’t believe we can succeed in our aims.

We rarely admit to ourselves that most people find it difficult to change their lifestyle.  For if we did we would see our ‘normality’! Instead we just perpetuate our shame by believing we are inferior, inadequate, incapable of success, and fat is a problem we cannot control, change, get rid of, because we’re not strong enough to hold our resolve!

FP/TP live life feeling in or out of control!  This is why life becomes so hard!  But even though we are over/under weight, even though we’ve failed on a million diets, there’s still things we can do to help ourselves, that will change our perception toward food, and help us feel more confident about what we can do!

It’s great to be able to plan ahead.  But it’s not only FP that find it difficult to fully commit themselves for any given period of time, as other addicts will attest to. So there are other ways of approaching our problems!  If we looked at our life style one day at a time for example, if we have a bad day today we make the decision to start again tomorrow and do it better.  So instead of giving up on ourselves because we’ve broken our promise to us, we persevere each day until we get it right, by making little adjustments in our life, that support healthy living.

One of the most important tasks I set myself, many years ago, was to abolish any emotional attachment I had to food!  I’d tried to do the right things and dieted all my life, yet I was still fat and unhappy!  So one day I made the decision that my relationship with food had to change, as whilst I hated being a FP, I hated being so miserable even more!

Once I recognised how I stimulated so much internal pain each time I ate, I decided to eat what I wanted – when I wanted, and make sure I enjoyed everything I digested.  If I didn’t like it I wouldn’t eat it!  If I over-ate I would enjoy the gluttonous feelings and feel rewarded and satisfied!  If I over-ate and felt nauseous, I would laugh at myself for making myself feel so bad!  I learned how to relax when I ate, instead of stressing myself out with my list of rules that I was breaking.

It took a few months of working consciously to divert my bad thoughts to neutral thinking, but it worked for me by setting me free from the ‘eat – guilt – shame – overeat’ process. Eventually, and quite naturally, I became more choosy about what I wanted to eat. I could leave food on the plate, I could resist the ‘forbidden’ foods more easily – all without forcing myself to do so!  I had gained control over my eating, by simply allowing myself to eat what I chose to, when I needed to eat!

I rarely binged and I lost some weight – even though I wasn’t dieting!  And this was how I cured myself of Binge Eating Disorder!!

So whilst I’m still fat now, food rarely stimulates my guilt or shame! I’ve broken the rules and set myself emotionally free from guilt/shame each time I crave something. And most importantly, realise that even though I am a FP, I am entitled to feel pleasure, satisfaction and enjoyment from the act of eating – just as normal-weight people do!

Life is challenging for most of us now, and pleasures are harder to find because of our high stress levels.  But food is meant to feed our body to promote good health, it’s meant to sustain us, and is a way to experience pleasure and satisfaction.  If you are a FP/TP, and your relationship with food is not rewarding, then find a way to change the rules in your mind, to break the rules of rigidity that contradict your own natural needs.

Learn to eat consciously…Eat and enjoy food, glorious food….!

Also become aware of what you eat, how you eat it, and why…!

But just remember that…. sugar acts as a poison to your body, and wheat is an allergen, so because your body has problems processing these they could make your body swell up.  If you avoid these as much as you can, you may eventually feel healthier and not have such a weight problem in the future!

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Life brings challenges in all forms, that we have to somehow find a way to cope with. But it’s not always easy.  And when we lose our positive/negative balance in life, it’s not uncommon for feelings of hope and optimism to become overwhelmed by feelings of frustration and despair, that increase our fears about the future.

Our mind is filled with ways to protect ourself because we’ve lived a reality that’s governed by oppression, repression and suppression.  Yet we yearn to be free!  We yearn for the freedom to have what we want, do what makes us happy, and to feel a peace inside that lets us know that all is well in our world, and that we’re okay, even though turbulence is all around us!

Historically our existence has been structured around the search to achieve something that’s missing from our life, leading us to embark on a quest to satisfy the void we feel internally. However, whilst in the past we’ve nominated something or someone to fix our disquiet, we’re now starting to realise that our empty internal space can’t always be consoled by factors that make us feel financially secure or physically acceptable!

So although we still seek ways to survive our negative feelings, we’re now looking for something different, something that money can’t buy.  Now we’re looking for ways to feel complete!!

It’s still unclear whether this completeness comes from simply being in control of ourselves! Regardless, we must allow ourselves to challenge how we think. As whilst we continue to allow ego to determine our logic, we will be led back into the old way of life that is self-destructive, because it’s governed by our illogical need to avoid fear!

Humans are creative, energetic beings. So when we worry and no resolution is apparent, anxiety drives us to focus on what we don’t have or what we can’t do. Thus, when we face problems, unless we learn to monitor and control our thinking, we can find ourselves locked into feelings of powerlessness that cause us to stagnate in frustration, anxiety and anger….

Creating even more problems, because we’re fighting a battle that can’t be won, simply because we don’t understand the creative, but sometimes destructive power we have access to!

The clarity of our intuitive mind has become dulled by our need to be in control.  We need to feel safe, so we do what we must to ensure this, by being on constant mental alert so we can fix anything that takes us outside of our personal comfort zone!  However, this way of operating means our mind is filled with chaotic, conflicting messages that evoke fearful emotions, that in turn promote fear-filled thinking.

In other words, our mind is a tangled web of self-deceit, that we have created because we are afraid of everything!

Many like myself, believe that when we are fully aligned with the universe and our spiritual Self is firing on all levels, we will become authentically whole. And so can utilise the full force of our creative nature to manifest what we need, simply by thinking about it! The problem is, we have evolved within an erroneous logic, where what we believe as true, may prove to be false and vice versa!

We don’t really understand our energy or power yet. But we know we have a battleground in our mind, where every emotion has dominating thoughts associated to it, that can affect us negatively or positively, depending on how we mentally and emotionally react to the way we feel.  So it’s already clear that when we are in distress, our mind can become overloaded with reactive thoughts we struggle to control or understand!

And to make matters worse, our ego personality is not a singular unit. It has many aspects we’ve created over lifetimes, each with a voice that distorts our judgement by making us feel that we’re better or worse than others, that we’re a loser or a winner when we’re not, and we are more or less than we should be!

However, once we enter a dimensional reality that opposes our ego-logical mind, our rules of existence are challenged by the intangibility of spiritual reality, meaning the logic that has kept us safe collapses, and so does our ego-personality, causing us to flounder in the depths of the unknown! But even though we are in the throes of evolution, which will eventually change our world – for the better we hope, we are unprepared for this process!

The information we receive in our mind comes in the form of thoughts and images, which we interpret according to our understanding of life.  The problem is, we can’t correctly interpret  information we receive intuitively, until we learn to differentiate information from our logical mind, our egotistical personalities, entity attachments, or wisdom from higher spiritual sources.

But as spiritual intangibility conflicts with our logic, once our mind opens to higher consciousness and we become more ‘psychic’, the battle in our mind will increase.  As there will be more voices, thoughts, influences and images flitting through our mind, that we will have to process mentally! Therefore, as we evolve into higher consciousness, our real problem then becomes how to identify what voice in our head is speaking the truth.

Where trying to make sense of the logical and spiritual worlds as they merge, can send our mind reeling, as we struggle to comprehend unfamiliar mental experiences and cope with physical energetic changes!

However, one thing is for certain….

Because we have entered a stage of evolution that affects us physically, mentally and emotionally, it’s impossible for us to carry on as we are spiritually!

And whilst we may resist anything that causes a disruptive influence to our comfort zones, changes in universal energy are purposefully designed to implement energetic healing that will restore, repair and regenerate earth energy. A natural phenomenon, that whilst causing chaos and destruction to our historical and habitual existence, will nevertheless bring balance to an imbalanced situation called LIFE!

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