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Posts Tagged ‘Evolution’

For those of you who are unaware, our energy is changing! We are evolving energetically, so that we humans can continue to exist within the universal higher dimensional frequencies of energy, that are changing the earth and all that it contains.

For those of you that are interested in energy, you will already know about the changes that are being cultivated within our solar system, that will affect our consciousness; which in turn will create changes to us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, as our consciousness changes and develops.

There are so many people giving their reports, ideas, channeled information etc., about what is happening now, I don’t feel it necessary to speculate further, as I don’t think I could add anything at this stage, seeing as I don’t fully understand the mechanical process.  But if you’re not familiar with current evolutionary energy changes, there’s plenty of information to be found on the internet, which may help you understand why so many of us are facing significant life changes, and feeling screwed up at the moment.

I suppose we could categorise those who are aware, and those who aren’t.  As those who are aware will recognise and understand the disruptive forces that influence their lives, personality, thoughts and feelings, and work energetically with them…whilst those who are unaware, may blame the bad way they feel on external forces, physical illness or mental/emotional instability.

Awareness is the key I guess…!

So, energetic changes are in force that are affecting everything about us!  Yet whilst we may think we don’t really comprehend the enormity of this process, our soul is geared up and ready to be set free, to live within an energy where it can breathe, expand, and just be…!

It…understands it all, as it has been waiting for this time to come! This is a wonderful thing to know isn’t it…?

There are many people who neglect their soul prompts – in fact they deny they have a soul…believing that if you can’t see it then it doesn’t exist!  But we all have a soul… a beautiful spiritual centre that is all-wise and all-knowing.  If only we could all embrace our soul…and each others…, life would be so much better!

All of us on this earth today have souls that are aware of the current changes we are facing.  And although we’re all on different pathways, and different levels of consciousness and understanding, we are all changing and evolving energetically, one way or another!  These changes are forcing us to think differently, to change our value system, to correct our inappropriate coping skills.  In fact, the changes are making life very difficult for us…because we’re being dragged out of our historical comfort zone.

All of us are – even you…and it hurts because it is scary…!

But whilst we struggle to stay emotionally intact, as we flounder within the disruption, we have to remember that the aim of these energetic prompts is to encourage us to become different – the aim is to change, not to get over whatever, return to how we was, and remain the same!  So we have to allow ourselves to grow! To be different! To think about life using a different, wider perspective!

Energy changes will eventually change us on all levels.  But if we resist by striving to remain as we were, life will feel increasingly uncomfortable.  So it’s better if we can go…with…the…flow…! That means that when we feel the impact of our fear, instead of running with our automatic fight or flight prompts that make us panic, react or hide away, we breathe deeply, calm ourselves down, and reassure ourselves that life goes on – even though we don’t fully understand how.

Then, once we relax into our personal changes – without fearing them, and we’ve allowed ourselves freedom from our ego limitations, our mind and consciousness will start to open up to the new possibilities that lie before us… Meaning we may start to remember who we really are and what we really know.

AND I KNOW…REALLY TRULY, DEEP DOWN KNOW, THAT WE KNOW SO MUCH MORE THAN WE THINK WE DO…!

Access to the ancient unconscious is slow because it has been so deeply buried.  But we are changing aren’t we?…Becoming free from constraints that have kept us believing we are a mere human with limited powers.  Soon though, we will start to remember the truth…!

I want to write more, but my mind is reluctant to allow information to flow at the moment.  This is okay – it’s been a challenging few weeks and my mind is tired, where I’ve been trying to ‘work it all out’…!  It’s part of the process, so I can relax with it – even though it’s frustrating when my creativity gets blocked.  However, I know it will eventually pass.  Until then, for now, this is all I have to offer you today…!

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It’s easy to believe that our life, and all that it consists, is all that there is for us!

Our individual experiences, challenges, hurts and pleasures make up an existence that we accept as being normal, and become engrossed with…as we face one hurdle after another.  Stopping, starting, faltering, rising and falling, as we attend to, or try to ignore our thoughts and emotional prompts, that attempt to force us into unknown territories we have no concept of. Yet have to visit, in our search for happiness, success and peace of mind!

It’s no wonder we want to find a way to stop our confused suffering!  Many seekers are asking…’When will this all end…?’.

But who would’ve believed that we would find ourselves in the position we are today…?  As whilst many have been avidly searching for ways to find spiritual enlightenment, freedom from fear, increased connection to God energy, believing that their life would become dramatically improved once they have mastered these many skills, it’s emerged that so far, the things we’ve done in the past to improve ourselves and understanding of life, is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg…!

As whilst we’ve been focused on letting go of our individual past conditioning, that supports our fears and bad habits, I don’t think we realised just how B..I..G our search was going to be!

Whilst so many people have bravely accepted the challenge to change who they are, and have been dedicated in their quest for self-improvement and soul expansion, there are still many areas of life that have been neglected, because we never realised they existed!  And whilst we believed that our ultimate aim was to conquer ourselves, it’s slowly emerging that our true purpose is so much more than that…!

‘WHAT…’ you might say…’YOU MEAN I’VE DONE ALL THAT WORK – AND SUFFERING – FOR NOTHING?’…!

AND – does this mean I’ve got to KEEP suffering?…!!

Well the simple answer is ‘NO’ to both questions!  However, whilst we believed our remedial actions were leading us to a specific resolution, namely we would feel happier and more content once we reached a certain point of self-achievement, the true purpose for our existence is only just becoming apparent.  As our purpose for being alive at this time is to not only change ourselves, but to also….CHANGE THE WORLD!!

And as we well know, that takes time…!

OMG – not more of that crap!!  Isn’t that what we’ve been doing anyway?’……..Yes…I can hear you!!

We knew didn’t we, that changing ourselves would make a difference to the whole!  We recognised that confronting our own limitations would lead others to do the same, creating a ripple effect that would increase as we grew in self-knowledge, self-power and most importantly, self-control!  And just to reassure you, nothing associated to these changes has been wasted…everything has been purposeful!

So what I’m saying is that whilst we may have planned our evolutionary journey, say from A to Z (because that is the alphabet we know); and we measure our progress by feeling somewhere in-between A and Z…. what if ‘Z’ was not the true end point…?  What if, instead of being a twenty-six lettered alphabet, there were more letters for us to learn…say another thirty, sixty, or even a million or more letters we knew nothing about, but nevertheless still existed as part of the alphabet? Where would we be then…?

I believe that is the position we are in now – where we’ve progressively worked our way through various restrictive, damaging elements in our life – that we knew about.  Not that we’ve overcome them all, I have to add – simply that we’ve become aware of them, and so can find a way of positively managing them so they fail to hinder our existence as much!

Consequently, because of our evolutionary progression and position, we are facing the gradual emergence of unknown energetic aspects of life, that we effect and are affected by. But whereas hurtling into the unknown would have thrown us into chaos a while back, now, because we’ve been working on ourselves to control our reactive nature, we will have the skills to stand steady as the new future emerges and shows us what we need to do next!

Facing the unknown can make us scared…but when we realise that we don’t have to plan, manipulate or protect our future, we’re more likely to be able to just…GO-WITH-THE-FLOW!

And maybe that’s what we’ve been preparing for…to be able to…LET-GO… of the need to control and cajole people, things, situations, in order to placate our own needs.  And to allow ourselves to remain in trust; confident in our knowledge that we are protected, as we are being guided. Knowing that if we do fall, we can quickly and easily rise again, because we haven’t been crushed into shattered pieces!

There is a rationale to life that although has always been there, we’ve not seen, simply because we could not comprehend it.  We’ve been fighting the War Of Ego, where our minds were locked into regions that were within the parameters of human existence, and our limited understanding of what life meant.

But whilst we thought our search for resolution meant simply freeing ourselves from ego limitations, we’ve limited our potential for growth, because we’re still working toward control of something!  And, just like the possibility of the extended alphabet, we only knew what we thought we knew! But there is more to come yet…and even though we don’t know what it involves yet, I believe there is an end purpose that is more beneficial to us than we could possibly imagine!

The world is a wonderful place to be at this time, because we have the opportunity to experience change never seen or experienced before.  We have a chance to see things put right that were wrong.  To see the sick healed!  To witness the birth of a new nation of children that will evolve into mighty warriors that will protect nature’s gifts to our world!

We are here to see all this.  We are the creators of all of this.  We have the right to become the new people.  People who can love each other without prejudice.  People who care about how others hurt!  People who place peace of mind and heart above the need for materialistic toys.

But the real benefit, the real gift of being alive at this time is that we get to see it all emerge – the future we never knew about.  The elements of life we’ve yearned to experience, that were always there in the background, waiting for the right time to show themselves to us.  Waiting until the time came, when we could control our reactions enough, to not destroy what we did not understand…!

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This YEARNING feeling can cause us so many problems, pushing us to do this or that, and sometimes freezing us in our tracks because we don’t know what to do next to pacify it and ourselves.

A lot of the time we can translate the guiding message from our yearning, and accomplish a goal that provides a sense of satisfaction. Other times the yearning feeling persists, and can feel overwhelming, as nothing we search for seems to fit what the yearning needs!

Sometimes the yearning is so persistent and strong, it feels as though nothing will make it go away…this increases our anxiety and fear thinking, encouraging us to believe we’re not good enough, we’re running out of time, we’ll never find what we’re looking for…because we don’t know what it is, etc.

For years I’ve tried to tame my YEARNING, which often causes a deep pain in my heart centre.  It can be placated for a short time, then it’s back…relentless!  I’ve tried to explain it in so many ways, grief, frustration, sadness, disappointment, overwhelm, but whilst it can be contributed to by all of these, and other feelings, I think the only thing that really resonates with me is the concept that the deep pain within me is being driven by my soul, in it’s attempts to free itself from my ego!

… My soul wants to be free, my ego fear keeps it imprisoned!

This means I can work with the YEARNING, as I would any other intrusive emotion, by using it as a guide to challenge outdated or dysfunctional thinking patterns, confirm that I’m being truthful to myself and others, identify what’s really bothering me….you know the self-help story I’m sure!

As this yearning creates a rise in adrenalin, we can feel compelled to do something as we enter the fight and flight response.  When we haven’t got a goal to aim for, because nothing feels right to do, the adrenalin has nowhere to go, and we can feel as though we are imploding inside.

Calming this adrenalin is an important part of how we learn to be less reactive, and can help us identify how much control we actually have over our mind and emotions.

Freeing our soul, using our creativity, is a painful process for many. We are in a stage of evolution where our consciousness is moving toward a different higher dimension.  This transition is causing huge problems for us as old outdated patterns, fears, concepts and relationships, rise for us to release before, and as they are falling away.

It is said by many that this is the start of the new world, where love will be the energy we utilise to create our life, rather than the ego fear which we have been historically conditioned into.  How great would that be?

Life is changing for us all, and so much of our future is now unknown.  But the one thing that is consistent in all of this is that we are all part of God’s energy.  And once we can find a way to remain in that special ‘love’ state that the connection with universal God provides, I think our yearnings will cease to cause us so many problems.

So if you are struggling with your life at the moment, just try to go with the flow, and relax the ‘what if’s…!  You’ve come a long way in quite a short time…and, because you have become more self-aware, if you was getting things wrong you would eventually know and be able to correct your actions, as you’ve done in the past!

So my advice would be to relax, create, enjoy as much as you can. As us humans have still got lots of work to do before we arrive at our next destination!

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Life brings challenges in all forms, that we have to somehow find a way to cope with. But it’s not always easy.  And when we lose our positive/negative balance in life, it’s not uncommon for feelings of hope and optimism to become overwhelmed by feelings of frustration and despair, that increase our fears about the future.

Our mind is filled with ways to protect ourself because we’ve lived a reality that’s governed by oppression, repression and suppression.  Yet we yearn to be free!  We yearn for the freedom to have what we want, do what makes us happy, and to feel a peace inside that lets us know that all is well in our world, and that we’re okay, even though turbulence is all around us!

Historically our existence has been structured around the search to achieve something that’s missing from our life, leading us to embark on a quest to satisfy the void we feel internally. However, whilst in the past we’ve nominated something or someone to fix our disquiet, we’re now starting to realise that our empty internal space can’t always be consoled by factors that make us feel financially secure or physically acceptable!

So although we still seek ways to survive our negative feelings, we’re now looking for something different, something that money can’t buy.  Now we’re looking for ways to feel complete!!

It’s still unclear whether this completeness comes from simply being in control of ourselves! Regardless, we must allow ourselves to challenge how we think. As whilst we continue to allow ego to determine our logic, we will be led back into the old way of life that is self-destructive, because it’s governed by our illogical need to avoid fear!

Humans are creative, energetic beings. So when we worry and no resolution is apparent, anxiety drives us to focus on what we don’t have or what we can’t do. Thus, when we face problems, unless we learn to monitor and control our thinking, we can find ourselves locked into feelings of powerlessness that cause us to stagnate in frustration, anxiety and anger….

Creating even more problems, because we’re fighting a battle that can’t be won, simply because we don’t understand the creative, but sometimes destructive power we have access to!

The clarity of our intuitive mind has become dulled by our need to be in control.  We need to feel safe, so we do what we must to ensure this, by being on constant mental alert so we can fix anything that takes us outside of our personal comfort zone!  However, this way of operating means our mind is filled with chaotic, conflicting messages that evoke fearful emotions, that in turn promote fear-filled thinking.

In other words, our mind is a tangled web of self-deceit, that we have created because we are afraid of everything!

Many like myself, believe that when we are fully aligned with the universe and our spiritual Self is firing on all levels, we will become authentically whole. And so can utilise the full force of our creative nature to manifest what we need, simply by thinking about it! The problem is, we have evolved within an erroneous logic, where what we believe as true, may prove to be false and vice versa!

We don’t really understand our energy or power yet. But we know we have a battleground in our mind, where every emotion has dominating thoughts associated to it, that can affect us negatively or positively, depending on how we mentally and emotionally react to the way we feel.  So it’s already clear that when we are in distress, our mind can become overloaded with reactive thoughts we struggle to control or understand!

And to make matters worse, our ego personality is not a singular unit. It has many aspects we’ve created over lifetimes, each with a voice that distorts our judgement by making us feel that we’re better or worse than others, that we’re a loser or a winner when we’re not, and we are more or less than we should be!

However, once we enter a dimensional reality that opposes our ego-logical mind, our rules of existence are challenged by the intangibility of spiritual reality, meaning the logic that has kept us safe collapses, and so does our ego-personality, causing us to flounder in the depths of the unknown! But even though we are in the throes of evolution, which will eventually change our world – for the better we hope, we are unprepared for this process!

The information we receive in our mind comes in the form of thoughts and images, which we interpret according to our understanding of life.  The problem is, we can’t correctly interpret  information we receive intuitively, until we learn to differentiate information from our logical mind, our egotistical personalities, entity attachments, or wisdom from higher spiritual sources.

But as spiritual intangibility conflicts with our logic, once our mind opens to higher consciousness and we become more ‘psychic’, the battle in our mind will increase.  As there will be more voices, thoughts, influences and images flitting through our mind, that we will have to process mentally! Therefore, as we evolve into higher consciousness, our real problem then becomes how to identify what voice in our head is speaking the truth.

Where trying to make sense of the logical and spiritual worlds as they merge, can send our mind reeling, as we struggle to comprehend unfamiliar mental experiences and cope with physical energetic changes!

However, one thing is for certain….

Because we have entered a stage of evolution that affects us physically, mentally and emotionally, it’s impossible for us to carry on as we are spiritually!

And whilst we may resist anything that causes a disruptive influence to our comfort zones, changes in universal energy are purposefully designed to implement energetic healing that will restore, repair and regenerate earth energy. A natural phenomenon, that whilst causing chaos and destruction to our historical and habitual existence, will nevertheless bring balance to an imbalanced situation called LIFE!

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I know it may sound corny, and I know you’ve probably heard it said a million times or more.  But today I’m taking the risk to say it once again…Everyone Matters!!

It’s christmas, and is the time when feelings and emotions we’ve kept suppressed or hidden, find their way to the surface!  The feelings that make us say that ‘I’m okay’ when really we’re not!  The thoughts that make us think we’re not bothered, when really we are!

Christmas has an uncomfortable tendency to bring our problems and isolation to a peak, because whilst christmas is supposed to be a time of joyful giving and good will, there are those who have no-one in their lives to enable this participation of exchange of loving energies! So instead of being a time of joy, christmas becomes an intolerable nightmare of acute recognition, of just how bad life actually is!

There are many lonely people out there, who don’t let on how bad they feel about themselves and their life.  It doesn’t really matter if they live alone, or with others.  Or how old they are!  They feel as they do, and hate the way they feel, because they feel insignificant. They feel they don’t matter!

But if just a few of us made the effort to watch others a bit more closely, to talk to others a bit more often, then loneliness may not feel so bad.  Because just a few words, or a simple gesture of friendship, can make that lonely person believe that someone, somewhere, cares about how they feel!

It hurts when we feel that we don’t matter, that no-one is on our side, that there’s nobody we can call on to comfort us when we feel upset. The great sadness is that there are so many people who feel this way! Children, adults of all ages, even our pets need our love and companionship!

We think our pain is just our pain, but it’s not!  It’s part of the whole of humanity that is turning a corner in its evolutionary journey of change.

So as we enter 2013, let’s make a point of doing things differently…!

Let’s start caring about everybody, including ourselves.  And including those that we think harshly of, or resent, or dislike, or want to punish because they’ve hurt us in some way, at some time!

We don’t have to go back for more of the same.  We just have to let all the pain and resentment created in the past, leave our energy system, so it stops causing us more pain in the future! And when we start to think negatively, which we do because we’re human, all you need do, to create a miracle, is simply start thinking loving thoughts.  The energy changes immediately!

So when you walk along the street and see someone in pain, or needy, or hurting.  Or someone who is scared, or angry, or proud.  Instead of thinking about what they’re doing to make their life worse (or yours), remember they are simply a soul, like you, on a learning journey! Then let your heart fill with love, and mentally send it straight to them.  That’s all you have to do!

They and you will feel the benefit of this energy exchange, and it will cause a ripple effect that unites with everyone else who is sending out loving thoughts and feelings.  And when we can all feel this loving energy in our hearts, we will truly know that we all matter, as we are all part of the whole of humanity!

If you are alone, or hurting, or confused, or ailing this christmas, I want you to know that even though I don’t know you, I care that you feel this way!  And although I may not physically be able to help and support you, I would like to let you know that my prayers filled with love will find their way to you, along the universal energetic pathways, which may help reassure you that you are never really alone! Not totally!

I wish each of you a merry christmas, regardless of where you are and who you are with.  And a heart and life filled with the miraculous healing energy called love, that will create the miracles you’ve dreamed about!

Sending you all love, light, peace, joy, and many blessings for the future starting 2013.

Chrissie xx

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Just after I published my previous post about breakdown, someone asked me to clarify the statement included below, so that is what this article today will be about. I would state beforehand, that I’m not writing as an expert on spiritual matters.  What I am doing is briefly relating what I’ve learned because of what happened to me….

“….Another cause of breakdown is when we seek entry into the spiritual realms, where our vulnerable consciousness is unprepared for the force of negative energy that we expose ourselves to, when we open our mind to the unknown spiritual forces that exist”….

I felt disillusioned that spirit was not all about love and light, as I’d believed. As my experiences showed a side of spirit I thought only existed in horror movies!  I won’t be describing those here. Only pointing out that once we start working with higher dimensions and higher consciousness, and enter into unknown spiritual realms that contain more species, good and bad, than we could possibly envisage, we can be propelled into mental experiences we are unprepared for!

Spirituality has many illogical aspects to it.  Such as miracles that happen, spiritual  beings that manifest to warn, help or heal us.  Even the fact we can communicate with dead people and entities, can be classed as unbelievable by those who doubt.  I’m not saying it’s wrong to doubt anything, as discernment is our saviour.  But humans are a composite form of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy.  Yet whilst we accept all other aspects, there is suspicion about our spiritual nature.  But why must it still be like this, when our spiritual nature can provide so much assistance to help us cope with physical life!

We can’t see our thoughts or painful emotions, yet we know they are real because we experience them, even if we don’t fully understand, accept or validate them.  This is what it’s like when we communicate with the spiritual world. We transmit and translate through our higher mind. So I guess this is the problem… communication is conducted intuitively through the mind, so has to be channelled, interpreted and passed on to others by the receiver.  So if we can’t see or hear what they do, how do we know they are telling the truth?

Charlatans are eager to take our money, and mediumship provides an easy way to do this because it’s individualistic, un-provable nature, can fool many.  So we have to be selective about where we place our trust regarding these matters. But what happens when we seek spiritual truth through our own higher mind.  And make contact with discarnate people, entities, angels, monsters etc., whose images fill our enquiring, yet fearful mind, stimulating fearful egotistical thoughts because we can’t seem to control what we see or think.  How do we decide what is true, what is real or imaginary? Because images extend beyond the logical parameters of tangibility, stimulating our fear responses, how do we know whether we are imagining these things, really communicating with higher intelligence, having a mental breakdown or simply going insane?

Our logical mind determines our truth and reality.  So if something doesn’t meet our criteria for being real, we question its existence. Often relying on views of other people to determine the validity of what we’ve seen, regardless of our feelings about it.  Because of ego influences, we often find it difficult to admit we’re wrong or different from others.  If others are unable to validate what we perceive, we may then go on to judge our perception as wrong, or visions imaginary, even if they’re not.  So there are those who hear, see or sense the spiritual world, but deny it because no-one else can see what they do.  This can lead the individual to believe they are hallucinating, terrorising them into the world of mental illness and all that it contains.  Whereas if their visions could be validated and accepted, they could find a way to work logically with them.

Once we start crying out to God for help, soul-searching, meditating, contacting our guides, channelling information etc., we open our mind beyond our logical parameters, and enter a dimensional reality that has different rules to the physical world.  We make contact with spiritual beings and higher dimensions through our higher consciousness.  We open our senses and our mind! We hear with our internal ears, we see through our inner eyes, and every physical sense is activated, as we prepare to feel any communication that proves we are being heard. Some people don’t see, but sense through the way they physically feel.  Others can hear. Some people can see, hear  and sense.  Whatever, the communication is conducted through the persons own mind, where most of the time no-one else sees the same images, hears the same voices or feels exactly the same, for the same reasons.

There are different ways we prove that communication is real.  A touch, a sound, a feeling.  So when we do find a way to ‘make contact’, and get proof that someone or something on the other side is responding, we naturally want to communicate more. So we reduce our protective nature, and allow our energy to become more sensitive. We open our mind and senses more, so we can gain access to more on other dimensions!  Where eventually, if we’re not careful, we start to feel ‘elation’ that we’re living in both worlds, thus without an anchor to keep us steady.

This is when we become most vulnerable, because we’re dealing with the unknown spiritual world, but allowed our logical mentality, which keeps us protected, to subside!  The problem is that not all beings on other dimensions are friendly and nice.  As some of them are distressed, angry or just plain psychopathic.  For some reason their soul has remained afloat after their physical departure, and although in the world of spirit, they’ve not received the healing they need, so still retain their physical personality and emotional defects. We believe, we trust, we fear! Thus, because we’ve opened our energy to the spiritual world, we’re like victims of slimy-handed pickpockets in a crowded market place, leaving our valuables on display to be stolen.

When working with higher consciousness, we have to learn that images are real on that level. That’s why visualisation therapy is so helpful – its reality enables us to create change, and expands our ability to manifest. But as we’re still working through our conscious mind, our egotistical fear, and unconscious mind are still in play.  Where as we explore higher dimensions, visions in the spiritual world can stimulate ego prompts that evoke fearful images and concepts from the conscious and unconscious mind, that become mingled  together. Meaning we have to understand that whilst visions in our mind may not be totally real, there are some elements that are, so we have to work out true reality!

Many people have been helped and reassured by spirit communication.  And although I’ve been helped so much over the years by loving guides, I didn’t understand the rules  of energetic world that connects everything to everything else. Most mediums I know have no real problems with the spiritual world.  And I honestly don’t know why I’ve had such a hard time.  I used protective techniques, I called upon my guides and God for help.  I did what I thought I had to do, in order to stop attracting negative energy and entities toward me.  I pray things are different now though, as whilst I feel compassion for lost souls who linger out there, my sanity is more important to me.  So whereas before I’d disregard how I felt and put their welfare first, by working with them to my detriment, if helping means compromising my energy, I will put myself first and run for safety!

I think it’s probably a good time to relate one experience here, which happened to me nearly twenty years ago.  And regardless of whether you choose to believe it, I can assure you that although I was depressed, I was not psychotic.  I was awake, it was not a dream or vision, but a real, tangible happening, that for some reason was to become just one of many that I had to learn to deal with and understand…

Laying in bed one night, feeling terribly depressed, just like many other nights I called out to God, begging… ‘Please help me.  Tell me who my guides are so I can call on them to help me.  Dear God, help me feel better!’.  Suddenly from just above me, to the right, I heard a ‘Whoosh’ sound, and saw a large hand emerge out of nowhere.  As the hand opened in the darkness of the room, I saw that it held a large white egg in its palm.  Though stunned, I felt elated!  God had finally heard my cries of despair and was giving me a gift. I reached out my hand and took the egg that was being offered to me.  I could feel its shell, but when I examined it more closely I saw two large holes in it. The hand and the egg disappeared. But as I lay contemplating this miraculous manifestation, I felt disappointed about the broken egg! ‘Why was it broken?’ I wondered, as I lay in bed, trying to come to terms with what I’d just experienced.  I pinched myself to make sure I was awake, and looked around the room to make sure I was still where I should be. Suddenly I felt something touching my breasts.  As I looked down in disbelief I could see and feel my flesh moving underneath my nightdress, as though hands were groping me.  But there was no other human in the room! As the groping became more intense I tried to move but couldn’t.  I didn’t know what to do, as I didn’t know what the hands would do to me next, and in sheer terror I screamed out loudly ‘Fuck off…leave me alone’, repeating it a few times before the groping finally stopped.  I didn’t sleep for a week after that!

Seems far-fetched doesn’t it.  Regardless, this happened to me!  I didn’t imagine it happened!

We live according to human rules, which we ignore or deviate from if we choose.  But when we enter into higher consciousness, there are strict energetic, universal laws that come into play, that will never change, regardless of how much we try to prise them one way or another.  The law of attraction dictates that like attract like, so needy people who seek solace through the spiritual world, will attract needy spiritual beings on other dimensions.  If you are angry, depressed, proud or whatever, when channelling you will most certainly draw spirits toward you that match your agenda.  This is no accident, as dealing with the troubled spirit allows healing and learning for both parties, according to the law of reaction which states ‘What you give you get!’.

When we do make contact with a spirit, and it tells us things, we should remember not to trust them until we get to know them better, and have proven their help is actually helpful to us.  As whilst there are beautiful guides available to help us, the spiritual world contains both light and dark entities, just like good and bad humans on earth.  Meaning there are some dark spirits out there who want to con us, because they want something from us.  Namely our energy!  Because when they can nestle like a parasite into our energy field, they can survive using our power.  Where eventually as they become stronger, they try to overtake our personality and live our life as their own.

You may think your guides will help, the angels will protect you.  But are you sure your guides are working for the highest good?  And are you experiencing your own feelings – or are you picking up on the feelings of an earthbound entity that has attached itself to you, because you’re feeling as bad as it, where like attracts like!

It’s a wonderful experience when we make contact with the energy of an angel, or higher spiritual guide.  Their sublime energy embraces you as you feel the warmth of their touch, or sense their presence, or  hear their words of comfort in your mind.  But it’s a different matter when you are touched by a dark entity, whose craftiness and despairing need clings on to your energy, sapping your strength and will.  The problem is, if you are already over-burdened, you may not even recognise the deepening depression, the extra-anxiety, the intensifying  feelings of heaviness on your shoulders.  You may think it’s just you!

If ever I’m in doubt, I close my eyes, put my attention to my mind, and say this out loud three times…

‘I ask my higher guides to remove all negative energy/entities from my energy system’.

I then try to sense energy rising upwards, from my body, leaving through the top of my head.  Try it whenever you feel low, see what you think!

We can choose to develop our sensitivity to such a level that we can feel other people’s pain.  We can hear their thoughts before they acknowledge them, we can sense what they are feeling and why, before even they are aware.  This is what happened to me a few years ago, where after working so hard to make myself more sensitive, my need for sanity meant I had to learn how to desensitize myself, because it didn’t feel good in any way. Opening our mind to higher consciousness means we’re able to see the truth of the world.  But we’re not used to this level of honesty and clarity, so as we try to make sense of our experiences, it can freak us out!

There are many who dismiss clairvoyance as ‘just imagination’, refusing to accept there is a spiritual reality at all. Simply because they cannot see, hear of feel what the medium can.  It’s for this reason that psychics have been classified as fraudulent, psychotic, insane, or simply having a vivid imagination.  But I am genuine and my experiences felt very real! Such as messages that proved correct, guidance that helped me and others.  Extraterrestrials who gave information about the birth of mankind and its development.  It also felt very real when I was sitting having a cup of tea one morning, when a native American guide manifested unexpectedly in front of me.  That was a total surprise I can tell you!  But these are the good things.

The bad elements also felt very real.  The aliens exiting from open vortices into our world, the hideous soul energy of murderers who still believe they have the right to harm others, the terrible pain of discarnate souls who committed suicide to find some peace, but are still earthbound.  The terror that rose in me during times I realised entities had firmly attached to me, that could drive me to the brink of insanity.  The worst of these times happened in 1987, 1996 and 2006.  Where the struggle to regain my personality after breakdown, felt very real I can assure you!

My experiences have proven the spiritual world is real to those who have opened their mind, consciousness and heart.  Images we see through our mind can be real or imagined – this is the predicament.  How do we know truth? I tried to conduct my spiritual behaviour according to my egotistical nature and its rules.  But it doesn’t work like that in the spiritual world! My energy was weak because I lacked self-confidence. I wanted to help them, but fear was so deeply ingrained within my personality that I made myself a target.

I hate it that I’ve had to experience the dark side of spirit.  I don’t feel a victim, as I know that whatever has occurred was for a valid reason. But when we lack experience, and are being fed energetically harmful information, our logical mind and physical personality can implode. Causing enormous overwhelm to our sanity, because we find it difficult to work out what is real and what isn’t any more!  Leading us to fear, with increasing terror, that we are losing our sanity, because we cannot control or stop the dark images, thoughts and feelings, that we have unwittingly welcomed into our personal energetic world!

I would clarify at this point that there are those who suffer mental health problems, for a variety of reasons, who are delusional and claim to have spiritual visitations. Where it’s vital they receive appropriate expert help.  And I accept that sometimes it’s difficult to determine if a person is unbalanced, authentically channelling information or just cold reading (as the experts call it).  My concern is, our soul energy is awakening to the call of natural evolution. Meaning we will all become more intuitive in the not too distant future.

But what will happen when your mind opens to other dimensions.  If you doubt spiritual reality, will you automatically assume the person who receives channelled guidance to be delusional, including you?  Because if so, you could hold yourself back by denying the crucial help you need! Or will you throw yourself in at the deep end, and just believe whatever you are told by beings you deem as having higher intelligence, when they have not?

This is the predicament mentioned earlier!  We live adult life according to what we were told as children.  We believed what we were told, even if it wasn’t true, because regardless, we thought ‘they’ knew better than us.  This is the same when we start to channel.  We believe spirit is good because that is what we’ve been told. We create new beliefs around our mediumship, and experience a new sense of power that we have another world at our disposal! It can make us feel very powerful, elated, in control, all-knowing and seeing.  It can also destroy our lives unless we close our mind, reject the images and allow our consciousness to come back to physical earth.  Then, next time we start communicating with other dimensions, once we’ve recovered our lucidity and trust we are sane, we will remain in control of our mind, take it more slowly and not believe every spirit is good, or knows best.

So we have to make up our own mind about what to believe, when we catch sight of dead people, angels, our guides and other entities.  And decipher whether our imagination is just running away with what we think we should be seeing, or even what we’re most afraid of seeing.  But maybe we need help to do just that!  What are your thoughts?

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I’ve found myself thinking about my broken dreams recently.  You know, the ones where you knew you could change society if you did this or that.  Where you believed you had the power to somehow make a difference to the world! Dreams that led you to believe that even though life has been mostly filled with shit, what you had learned through your own pain and suffering, could somehow be put to good use to help others avoid what you have been through – meaning there was a point to your life after all!  And that there is a reason why you are living on this earth, other than to suffer constant battles caused by your mental and emotional torment!

I had so many dreams!  Dreams which I’ve striven to bring into fruition.  But if you ask me if I succeeded in completing those dreams, I would have to say ‘I don’t really know’!  My life has been filled with disruptive and painful experiences that have dominated and squashed my creativity.  And I’ve felt for many, many years that I’m living one life, but yearning to live a different one.  One where I feel fulfilled, content and happy. 

But although I’ve recreated myself many times, and striven to be the best I can be, I’ve not located that life.  As I still feel similar to how I did fifty years ago.  When I was a lonely, overweight child, with low self-esteem, who used to dream of the part she would play in the world someday, and where because she could help them, people recognised her true qualities that made her worthy to be accepted as one of them!

So because I still feel this way, even after many years of self-development, my logic tells me that if I’d succeeded in fulfilling my dreams I would be feeling a lot better than I do wouldn’t I?  But  then another part of me steps in to remind me that as I’ve done what I believed to be the right thing, most of the time, then how could I have got it so wrong?

What’s really strange though, is that now, when I try to remember what my dreams were, I can’t!  I’ve tried to recall the decisions I made many years ago, that laid the pathway for my adult choices.  But it’s as though they never existed.  There are no dreams or aspirations in my mind.  No expectant enthusiasm or excitement, or a desiring heart.  So if I didn’t fulfil my dreams, where are they?  Did I give them up?  Did I lose hope that they would ever manifest?  Have I become a pessimist, or have I just got real?

Mind you, whilst I’ve been in voluntary hermit-land for a while now, to try and sort myself out, the world I knew has gone, disappeared completely – just like my old dreams!  Society has changed.  And whilst I believed I was different from others who were successful, fulfilled and happy, inasmuch as I lacked the confidence to promote myself and was fearful of many things, I’m seeing more and more people following in my footsteps of the past.  Where worry, fear and self-doubt  cause havoc to their well-being. So whilst it feels like nothing has really changed, nothing is the same!  How weird is that?

So, I’m looking at the bigger picture now, for the future.  And taking into consideration the wisdom I’ve acquired throughout my life, that tells me that worrying about what might be is detrimental, and causes a stress over-load that I can do without.  I’m also acknowledging the spiritual ethos of accepting all is well in this moment, as then I’m able to stop myself spiralling out of control in panic, whilst I consider that I might actually be a failure!

This means I’m able to consider the implications that evolution is causing to happen to us.  Where the guidance given by spiritual masters over the years actually starts to come together and make sense at long last.  Where living in the moment means we will naturally discard the burden of emotional baggage we’ve carried throughout our existence, meaning we will be free from ego conflict that can drive us away from our dreams, desires and soul purpose.  This includes dreams of the past, that we designed to eradicate our pain.

Then I have to remind myself that as my life is not yet over, there is still time for me to accomplish what I need to do. What that is I’ve no idea, as I don’t think I have the energy any more to create ambitious targets to complete.  So I’ve made the decision to stop striving to attain, and just allow myself to go with the flow!  As then I should be in the right place at the right time, to do whatever needs to be done, according to my soul destiny!  That’s the theory anyway – for now!

I’ll let you know how I get on!  But for now, I think I realise that dreaming about how I can change the future is not necessary, as if I allow my intuitive mind to remain in play, nature will guide me all the way, as it will you, if you do the same!  And whilst I may feel I’m alone with my painful thoughts and emotions, I know now that I’m really a part of a large team.  A team called the human race, that is perfecting it’s performance in order to win the game of life!

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