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Posts Tagged ‘stress’

After I commented on his blog recently, a blogging friend said this to me….

‘I’m not at all sure what I feel and think is valid.  Sometimes I hate myself for being the way I am.  I feel there is a war between two halves of me, and I dare not let either side win!’.

I said….’This is where real transformation can take place, where you discover your own truth about what is real and what is not – (for you).  The ‘war’ is the battle between our authentic self and ego.  Only we can decide which team wins!’

He said…’Ok, which is my authentic self?  The unthinking soul or the rational being? The right brain or the left?

WOW…EE >>>> Trigger for my slumbering writing mind to go into action….!

Well…as the mind and emotions are my favourite subject, and what I like to write about most,  I thought I’d write the answer in this article and explain a little about how we can resolve mental and emotional turmoil, simply by identifying with our ‘Authentic Self’.

First of all let’s talk about our thoughts…!

We have a naturally intelligent and creative mind that will automatically work to rectify conflict, according to how we’ve developed our thinking process, problem-solving skills, and how we feel emotionally about the issue and ourselves.  Our mind is wired to give us reasons for doing or not doing things, and confirmations that we, they or ‘it’ are right or wrong.

However, did you realise that every single thought that passes through your mind, has another thought attached to it? And that THAT thought also has another thought connected to it – creating a ‘chain of thoughts’?

Meaning that when you worry, you don’t just cognitively and emotionally react to one thought, but to many more!

Try it for yourself…. paying attention to your head space so you’re aware of your thoughts, think about an issue you’re dealing with, or something you want to do/not do…then wait, listen and watch your mind for what follows after that initial thought…

Or you could use this example….Say in your mind…’I am enough!’

If you kept your mind open and stayed attentive, you would notice more dialogue emerging as another thought follows the first, which when identified would generate  another, until there is a constant stream of mind-chat passing through your awareness.  The thoughts can be supportive to your ideals, against, or even both! So in the example of ‘I am enough’, your mind would offer further evidence for or against that statement, depending on how good you felt about yourself in the first place!

Also…did you realise that because you have an internal belief system that you have developed over your lifetime (your Frame of Reference I call it), you have conscious and unconscious thoughts that KNOW they are right – even if they’re not in reality correct or appropriate!  And that when we evaluate our issues, these are the type of thoughts that surface, in order to influence our decisions… which in turn stimulates any past emotional or psychological agenda (memories) we have tucked away deep inside us, that resonates in any way with those thoughts!

Now the problem seems to be that because we often remain unaware of these hidden or silent thoughts, which are generated from our unconscious mind in order to guide and help us, they remain unacknowledged and un-pacified.  So they can build-up in the background waiting for our acknowledgement of them. Thus if we’re worrying about something we find hard to resolve, loads of different negative and positive thoughts would be generated, in order to help us find the answer we need.  But which could cause us to feel overwhelmed because we don’t know how to deal with the pressure they are creating, in our mental and emotional system.

Our thoughts can be likened to decisions…I will/won’t, can/can’t etc.  So when we’re struggling with conflicting thoughts, it’s probably because we can’t make the final decision to console or justify whatever it is we’re dealing with….am I right/wrong, should I do it/not do it, is this going to help/hinder me, was it my/their fault this happened etc?  All questions that need answers, one way or another, because so many of us feel scared about leaving things alone, undone, unknown, unfinished in our way…!

Consequently,  we don’t know what to do for the best, so we stimulate our vulnerability – which has many other roots in our memory system which can then become re-activated,  perpetuating our confused thinking, emotional pressure and fear of the future…!

This is why we become so fraught when we face our dramas; where in order to console ourselves, we have to work out how make a decision that we’re unsure about, or find a safe way to exonerate ourselves or others from aspects of blame/guilt/shame/responsibility!

Conflict, namely old, bad memories, experiences, reactions and fears, runs throughout our energy system, causing energy blocks.  And when we find ourselves experiencing mental or emotional conflict dilemmas, it activates other latent conflicts; as current energy status seeks to find old like-energy, in order to unite and console itself (universal law of attraction – like attracts like).

That’s why over-thinking can send us crazy sometimes!  Because we enter a cyclical conflict process that can only be resolved by making a decision that allows us to release any emotional attachment to the problem…but that we find so hard to comfortably do, because that decision-making-process interferes with the negative, yet habitual weighing-up cognitive process we use, that can exhaust us on every level, if we allow it to!

Thus, it happens that we get pushed over the edge by something simple, and react inappropriately, not realising that what we’re really dealing with is fear that’s been brought up from the past!

So, when your mind is all over the place, pushing your stress levels through the roof because you can’t seem to stop the intrusive thoughts that scream and shout in your mind, what exactly can you do to help yourself feel better?  And how do you know which part of your mind is telling you the truth, that will help you finalise any conflict decision?

Well firstly, we have to be aware that our brain is wired up to be creative and think logically.  This is how we usually resolve everyday problems. However, when we’re caught-up in a dilemma that affects us emotionally, it’s hard to think logically because we’ve got so many other reactive thoughts being generated. Which in turn stimulates us emotionally.  Which then, to top it all, stimulates even more reactive thoughts, then feelings, then thoughts, then feelings…..I’m sure you get the picture by now!

This is the thinking process that governs our mind, emotions, responses, reactions and actions! Most of the time ‘IT’, our mind, seems to rule us. But we can regain control at anytime during the turbulent process, simply by consciously stepping into our mind, and diverting our thinking from our head to our authentic self, the God-Self that is wise and compassionate, and does not react to our fear prompts!

But how do we find the ‘Authentic’ us?  How do we know which part of us is real, true and trustworthy enough for us to  believe in it’s wisdom? And how can it reduce our conflict?

We often have dialogue within certain parts of ourself that we think are our soul or higher nature, when really it’s just another part of our ego mind trying to convince us we are right or okay! And when we have an internal conversation that is critical, damning, chastising, defensive or retaliative toward us or others – in any way, this is NOT our higher nature, but is our mind battling within itself, to find justification, permission, approval, exoneration or praise!

It’s easy to fool ourselves into believing our thoughts are true, as we’ve done so throughout our entire existence.  But whereas conscious and unconscious thoughts can stimulate our anxiety when we face conflict, soul guidance carries a different vibration – a calm, balanced feel that can support, console and calm our anxiety, because once we’ve started to listen to our inner voice and test out the information we receive, we know the words that come from this energy to be true.

Try this…next time you’re struggling with yourself, for whatever reason, become aware of the pressure in your head, caused by the see-saw of thoughts that’s trying to influence your judgement.  Where’s the pressure – the top/ middle, back/front, right/left side?  How intense is it – low, moderate, high?

Okay, now let that pressure go…just by telling yourself ‘I allow this pressure to soften and flow, soften and flow, soften and flow’…(Emotrance technique). You can place your hands on your head whilst you do this if you like, as we’ve all got healing abilities.

Initially you may not feel the energy moving, but when you’re more experienced and aware you will notice a shift in the pressure.

Take a couple of deep calming breaths – in through your nose, slowly out through your mouth…

Then, move your attention downwards, to the centre of your chest – the heart chakra centre, and look for the answers there.  Some people call this the ‘God-mind/soul/intuition/higher mind/authentic self’.  But hey, as long as it helps us sort ourselves out, what does it matter what it’s called…!

Now, seek your guidance from your heart centre – which I class as our Authentic Self – the part of us that knows all we ever need to know.  So instead of asking questions in your mind, constantly bouncing between right and left brain, you ask your heart centre to help you answer your query.

Whilst you can get answers to your questions from the heart centre, you will probably not get a direct ‘yes you should’ or ‘no you shouldn’t’ response, as you’re more likely to receive some sort of guidance that will help you make that important decision, or find the awareness you were seeking.

This heart-centre contains our voice of wisdom and can console us because it thinks outside of our fear.  When we try to rationalise our problems we often make them bigger or worse than they are.  But if we use our heart-centre authenticity to guide us, we get the benefit of wisdom that will increase our awareness of influences that inhibit our normal judgement.  Which means we start to become superior to our ego, so we become less reactive, because we’re not bound by ego prompts as much!

When we start detaching our decisions from the influences of our ego, we feel happier and more grounded in life, as we’re not being pulled and pushed by logic/illogical thoughts that try to support our negative personality traits.

Learning to become objective to our own life is a hard skill to master, as we’re such emotional and frightened beings, caused by the negative way we use our mind.  But the ‘voice’ we hear or sense from our heart centre, is never afraid.  This is the voice of LOVE, compassion, reason, wisdom and empathy, that will, if we listen to it, console our trouble mind and comfort our turbulent emotions!

Sooo, although our mind is more competent than any computer, using the heart centre as an additional guide to work out our problems ensures we have the information we need, to make more informed decisions. It is the voice of a loving friend who can offer us a different perspective on who we are, our problems and challenges.  It will also, if we pay attention to it’s guidance, help and encourage us to find the best way of living our life, because it will help us find our truth!!

Learning to… let go… of our need to control, influence, be involved in a situation, or be part of someone else’s life, is one of our hardest lessons, as it goes against what we desire, whilst our natural instincts are primed to get us what we want!

But sometimes it happens that we’ve found what we desire, but not in the place we think…! 

Mental and emotional turmoil walk together!  So if we’re unhappy emotionally, our mind will become conflicted when we use our own ego-based rules to try to sort it out.  There are times when because we feel so overwhelmed by how we feel, regardless of what our problem is, our main desire is just to be able to feel calm, and be in control of our mind and emotions.  We don’t care about ‘the problem’ any more!  We just want to feel normal again!

Having a regular dialogue with our Authentic Self, located in our heart centre, will help us achieve that desire…!

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I’m sure I’m not the only person asking themselves ‘Who Am I?’ at this moment in time, where as the pressure of futility increases, due to Christmas being just around the corner, we wonder what’s happened to our life.  How did we end up where we are?  As regardless of how hard we’ve tried to change or how much cutting-back we’ve done, lack of money and ever-increasing bills to pay, is still causing problems for so many, including me.  And although we may use relaxation and self-help techniques to help us cope with our rising stress, we are still highly stressed, because of the way we feel about us, our life, and our future!

To be honest, it feels like things will never change, and they could even get worse, as there’s no signs of improvement to global financial problems that affect each of us.  And to top it all, we’ve got ascension energy pushing and shoving us into emotional and mental places we’ve tried to avoid, in order to release latent emotional energy that we’ve held on to for too long. Causing frightening physical symptoms that worry us even more!

Wowee!! … What a ride, as internal and external pressure  causes havoc to our energy! And regardless of whether you believe in all of this energetic stuff or not, the pressure is still really intense!!

However, whilst our human problems appear so overwhelming to us, we should realise that our problems are not the main issue here.  As planetary, energetic, and spiritual influences are affecting us also, where there is a merging of elements taking place that will create significant changes to our future.  With an ultimate transformational purpose that is designed to protect us from self-destruction. Hard to believe?  Yes of course it is!  But how do we know it’s not true?

My guidance tells me it’s about ‘Healing the heart of man’, and that helps me to realise that change will be a good thing for us.  Yet I find it incredible that this is the time when evolutionary changes manifest, that will eventually change our lives forever! So many of our ancestors have been wiped out in the past, during this process.  Is this REALLY the time when we do it differently?  Where we change before it’s too late! What an amazing thought that is!!

I often wonder about our future, and the world as it may be someday.  It’s hard to imagine the new, prophesised world, where love and compassion are the fierce energetic prompts that guide our thoughts, feelings and actions. We’ve all been hurt so much by each other, throughout our existence, that we’ve been conditioned to accept pain as an inevitability of life.  But this is not how it should be!  And yet if this is all we’ve known, or remember, then how can we know how to create the necessary changes that will sustain life and happiness, instead of destroying it? But maybe this responsibility doesn’t fall just on our shoulders.  Maybe there is a higher universal intelligence that can help us do what we need to do!

I’ve communicated with the Sirian High Council, the Pleidian Elders, Lemurians and Atlanteans, as well as others.  I’ve also communicated with God energy, angels, guides, entities etc.  But how do I know these are true and real, as they are in my mind?  How do I know I’m not insane when I converse with these beings from afar?  And yet their influences have helped me so much, to understand how to survive this world!  So I believe there is help from these sources!  And yet it doesn’t really matter whether I believe in them or not does it?

As regardless of our circumstances, and who we are, one thing is for certain.  We’re already changing – we are not the people we once were.  Our life is different, our ambitions are different, and our future is not the one we were planning on. So because we’ve lost the ‘old picture’ we had created in our mind, about who and what we would become, it can feel as though we’ve lost our identity, or we are dying.  When the reality is that we’ve lost sight of who we are, because we, as we once were, are no more! And believe it or not, this is a good thing!

Basically what’s happened is that because we’ve had no option other than confront or control our rising fear, caused because of external to us circumstances, we have broken through the protective barrier that the ego had created.  Which kept us isolated, small, defensive and afraid.  We were reactive to a lot of things, but now we know, from our futile experiences of over-reacting, that when the tables are turned against us, we should and can stand steady and strong.  Knowing that in time, somehow, we will find the answers we need, the strength we lack, and the motivation to move ourselves beyond our stuck points, to a more comfortable life position. In other words, instead of running with our fear, we learn to trust that we can help ourselves in better ways!

It’s common knowledge that the Mayan calendar ends soon, which because of our linear thinking leaves us fearing the worst.  But now, because something is ending and we can’t see the beginning of anything new, we get anxious, feel vulnerable and start to panic about what’s going to happen to us and our world! There are those who foretell disasters, doom and gloom – even the end of the world!  But I don’t believe any of that, although the world as we know it will undoubtedly change, which could be symbolised as an ending.  Not before time I would add, as I know there has to be a better way to live our life, than the way most of us live now, where we struggle to survive against the turning tides of those in power, who have brought us to our knees.

But guess what!  We are stronger than they think!  We are braver than they anticipated!  And our heart and soul is getting ready to challenge those who want to keep us frozen in fear!  We want our life back, we want to be free not only from our anxiety and worry, and politics that squeeze the breath out of us.  But mostly we want to be free from our own fear, because we now know that this is the thing that upsets us the most.  And because we are human, we will make it happen eventually, now that we are starting to accept that we have the power to change how we feel – at will! (This is true by the way!).

Many foretell of a new energy reaching earth, that will take us on to a different dimensional level of being.  Which as a consequence of existing within a higher vibration, will enable us to become more intuitive.  We will be able to see the truth of life, and value what really matters.  There are many thousands, if not millions of people who have already reached this level, because they’ve spent their time developing their Selves, pursuing peace instead of conflict, freedom instead of control! But there’s many more who still have work to do in this area, if they want their life to improve! Where the choice at the moment is ours – live in fear, or find a way to manage and disperse any fearful prompts that disrupt our energetic balance.

When we’re afraid, we look for solutions to our problems and often fail to recognise that life is becoming a prison of misery. As when we feel deprived of what we need, over a long period of time, we can end up believing we don’t deserve anything other than what we’ve got.  We lose our confidence, our drive to succeed, our dreams and aspirations!  And we forget who we are, as we believe we are nothing!  Our energy is low, we lack enthusiasm, we get depressed, angry and upset, because we lose hope that things will ever change for us!

If what I’m describing seems familiar to you, then I know you have suffered like I have!  I’ve tried for many years to work out the best way to live, to survive financial, emotional and mental crisis!  I’ve also had quite a few traumatic spiritual experiences as well, but that story can wait for another day, for now!  The point is our suffering was not for nothing!  It was all about the energetic transformation process that is happening now!

About nine  years ago, whilst I was laying in bed one night, I saw an image of the earth in my room, in front of my window.  Regardless of whether my eyes were closed or open, the green and mauve image remained. I wondered if I was dreaming or becoming psychotic, and so pinched myself, stood up and went out of the room, returned and sat on the bed.  The image was still there!  As I watched with bated breath, not knowing what was going to happen next, fire started to rise at the back of the earth, flames burning high, spreading all around it.  I was scared and didn’t know what this meant, but knew I had to keep watching as the flames engulfed the earth!

Shortly after that, as the flames started to die down, another image appeared underneath the burning earth.  This highly coloured scene showed people rejoicing, dancing, clapping.  People were happy!  And as I tried to make sense of this vision, I remembered the violet flame of transmutation and so felt that this was a sort of re-assurance, that once I’d changed my life, I would be happy.  The images disappeared, but I’ve never forgotten them!

Over the last few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about this experience and it’s relevance to now.  At the time I thought it was just about me and my life.  Now I’m wondering if this vision was not just about preparing me for the future, but letting me know this is about all humanity.  That once we are destroyed egotistically, we are reborn into the future of our dreams!

Although hard, and though it may feel impossible at times, we have to allow ourselves to change, to fall, to rise, to grow!  We can’t do this when we are safe, so it’s okay to be afraid when faced with change, as we have to feel our fear, we have to confront our demons and let them go, because a re-birth is about to happen, and we need to be ready to step into a new human role that corrects our problems rather than causing them!

There’s talk about a miraculous ‘Second Coming’, of someone whom we could trust to lead us out of the darkness.  But if we still don’t recognise our true power of creation, this blind faith would simply lead us right back into the transformational fire we’re trying to escape from!  Following those in power is not the answer – we should know that by now, shouldn’t we? They are the ones who got us in this shit in the first place!  Now we, WE, have to motivate ourselves to stand up, take responsibility for our creative yet destructive power, and lead ourselves to a better, different life!

There is no quick, simple, panacea for doing this successfully at the moment!  I only wish it was that easy! It takes courage to not run away from our fear, and perseverance, patience to come through our bad times!  But come through them we must, and will – just like my vision all those years ago!  Where even though we can’t see the bigger picture, we must trust that a safe, loving, happy world is there, and that we will get the chance to enjoy it in this lifetime!

I know now that each experience that made me afraid has been for a reason!  I wanted to be comfortable, feel safe and content.  My soul knew otherwise though!  It had a job to do, to keep me on my toes, to allow myself to fragment, to break into small pieces that I could choose to discard during my emotional and mental recovery!  My soul has nudged me on my pathway, when I felt so abandoned and alone.  Where many times, as my stability crashed, so did I!

So when I ask myself now ‘Who am I?’, I can answer, without fear….I am Chrissie Batten, I have a soul, a will, courage, strength (although I don’t always feel it).  And I have a fragmented ego, that has lost it’s power over me, meaning I am in control of me.  Mmmm…well, that’s not totally true yet, but I’m starting to have hope that things will change!

Yes, I’ve got hope for me – no aspirations mind, or clear visions for the future. Just a little hope and trust that all is meant to be as it is, for a really good reason – to preserve human life, to have peace in our minds and heart.  To be loved and to love, and to be glad to be alive!

What about you though…regardless of how you were in the past, who are you now?  When you ask yourself ‘Who am I?’, what answers come from your heart?  What answers come from your mind?  How have you changed? Look closely through an open mind, and I’m sure you will find you’ve come a lot further than you thought!

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Over the years I’ve discovered that life moves us through various traumatic stages that have a beginning and end.  The purpose of these stages is to help us grow and learn.  Although each stage may vary in length and intensity of issues, and level of disruption to our lives, each stage contains a main theme that runs throughout.  Which is the driving force and pivotal learning point of our experience, that if recognised and adhered to, will enable us to improve our personality, life and future.

And if we look for the bigger picture of humanity, by also looking inwardly at issues of friends and family, we may recognise how our central theme of that time is theirs too.  This mirroring acts as confirmation that we are indeed a global society on a global journey of learning, that can affect us all!

I’ve always been able to identify the different stages of my life, and see the opening and closing of each stage. Recently I recognised that another traumatic stage of my life had completed.  I felt relieved as I acknowledged how hard I’d been finding life for some time, and hoped the universe would allow me a resting stage to re-gather my strength and positivity before I faced the next step. But we can’t control some aspects of our growth, only learn to attend to them as soon as we can, in order to reduce discomfort and suffering caused because of them.  So, when troublesome events started to present themselves to me – along with rising discomforts, I quickly started to search for the meaning hidden behind them.

I’d been struggling to meet obligations I’d imposed upon myself, that catered for other’s needs, and put my life on hold because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to focus on my issues. I realised this attitude meant I stayed stuck in the quagmire of frustration, anger, resentment, despondency and despair, that was hidden beneath my compassionate acts. But I’d become so embroiled in pushing myself to cope with family problems that felt overwhelming, that I’d closed my awareness off to my own needs, because I couldn’t cope with them as well as all the other things I had to do.

Self-denial and detachment crept in, but I didn’t acknowledge it because my needs were too much for me to cope with!

It was only when I received two requests for favours, one after the other from separate people, that truth finally hit me!  Initially when I refused their requests I started to beat myself up, as usual when I think I’m letting someone down.  But  once I straightened my thinking out, I allowed my indignance to guide me to what I needed to see more clearly.

I had to allow myself to stomp my feet (mentally not physically)and admit I didn’t want to commit my time and attention to helping anyone at the moment.  I had no energy left for me, as even though I did have some spare time, I wasn’t using it to replenish my energies or develop my business, because I felt so tired.  Yet even after all the self-development work I’d done, I still felt guilty about saying no! So, ‘What was this all about?’ I asked myself!

I learned about assertiveness years ago.  I understand it well, and believe me when I boldly say that I try to use my assertiveness power as and when it’s needed!  So why was this ‘NO’ issue rising again?  What was I missing?

Looking back over recent events and the predicament I felt I was in, I could see that saying ‘No’ was not just about refusing requests from others.  It was also about self-control, like saying ‘NO’ to the bars of chocolate I’d been consuming to quell my tiredness and despondency, and ‘No’ to the voices in my head that told me I deserved to have them.  It was about refusing to allow myself to beat me up any more for what I wasn’t doing, for what I had or hadn’t done!  It was about stopping myself from striving to meet my own and others unrealistic expectations of what can be achieved in limiting circumstances, and stopping to rest when I required respite.

It was about seeing how I’d taken on responsibility that I couldn’t cope with! I was trying to make things easier and better for others.  But though there were unavoidable tasks I had to perform, did I have to do SO much?  Did I have to do ‘EVERYTHING I COULD TO MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR OTHERS, AT THE EXPENSE OF MY OWN LIFE AND HEALTH?’

Why had I not seen, after all my experiences and traumatic times, that whilst I can support people in times of trouble, I cannot fix their lives – especially if I neglect my own? And why did I keep on trying so hard to protect other people from their life-changing problems?

Thus I realised how hard I’d been pushing myself.  And how much of myself I’d been denying!  No wonder I felt miserable, anxious and worried all the time! Didn’t I realise how our problems help us develop new skills.  Didn’t I know that facing our fear makes us stronger and wiser? Of course I did, I’m a counselling therapist! But did I really think I had to step in because my loved ones were so fragile, and they would die if faced with problems they felt they couldn’t handle?  Yes I did actually! A fear caused by past experiences that left their imprint upon my subconscious mind, which infiltrated my logic and distorted the reality of what is!  This is being dealt with now!

There are many who say if you reach for the stars you will touch them.  But we have to account for the fact that physical, mental and emotional needs will stop us in our track, if they are not met. And environmental and universal influences will negatively affect our energy when we are low, by making us feel more tired, listless and depressed.

If we feel overwhelmed it’s okay to ask for help! But if we don’t give ourselves what we need to survive, no-one else will. Everyone these days is trying to cope with their own stuff!  Meaning no one can help fix us, unless we take the time and make the effort to try to fix ourselves first!

‘NO’ is such a short sound.  But it has a huge meaning!  ‘No’ can save our lives and protect us, but it can also keep us confined in our stagnating comfort zone!  Saying ‘No’ means we can stand up for what we believe is right and proper.  But it can also promote our rebelliousness, that causes harm to ourselves or others!  Sometimes we say ‘No’ when we mean ‘Yes’ and vice versa, so if we want to get what we want and need, we have to ensure we say what we really mean.

I’ve decided to put my needs on par with others, for a time anyway, as I realise this is my life, with one chance to enjoy the benefits of being who I am.  Most importantly I’ve eventually accepted that it’s no good being a good Samaritan, if it kills you in the process.  Or use external substances to cope with painful emotions and life, but which destroy physical health!

So often we lose ourselves within our problems.  But regardless of how hard we try to avoid them, problems will keep rearing their ugliness at us. But if we don’t learn to say ‘No’ to things that will harm us, we will never be happy, healthy and fulfilled.

Learning to say ‘No’ means we can stand up and say …‘ I know what I need and make sure I get it’!  And even though it might take a bit of practice to get the ‘No’ in the right place at the right time, saying ‘No’ will enable us to regain our confidence, because we are aware that whilst we may not be able to escape the trials and tribulations that life throws at us, we know we always have the power to choose how we deal with situations, and our reactive, needy  self!

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It’s very clear now, that we cannot escape anxiety provoking situations that make us feel bad and impede our opportunities for finding future happiness. Nevertheless, whilst we are starting to realise we can’t control the world after all, we must always, and I mean always remember, we can control ourselves!

When we worry we create toxic energy, which is extra adrenalin that sends our energy field haywire.  If this toxic energy is not released in some way, we become agitated.  Where the process of fight or flight occurs, stimulating even more adrenalin, and more anxiety! Even though worry thoughts fill our mind, and fear, dread or terror thoughts fill our heart, we must always realise that this discomfort is just our energy, that has been disrupted because of our disordered thinking.

Worry creates more worry, unless we intercept our thinking and regain control of our thoughts, by balancing our negative with positive thoughts….i.e. I can’t pay next months bills (Neg.), but I’ve got time to try to sort something out (Pos.).  Although this may not be the answer, it stops the sharp increase in fear rising, which allows you to remain in control.  It’s very difficult to find profitable answers when we’re in sheer panic mode!

But even when our adrenalin pumps and we want to run, scream, hide or attack, or fill ourselves with food, alcohol or drugs, we must remember that aggressive actions won’t do anything to heal our pain. As all it will do is release some of the adrenalin we’re causing because of our confused or anxious thinking patterns.

There are other easier ways to release excessive adrenalin energy, that we can use to help ourselves…

1)  Physical exercise…running, walking, skipping, dancing, housework and of course sex!

2)  Doing something creative where your efforts will yield a result…painting, playing musical instrument, knitting, cooking.

3)  Expressing yourself vocally…singing, talking to someone, going to the beach and shouting out at the sea!

4)  Writing…a journal, automatic writing where you just keep writing about how you’re feeling, writing an expressive letter (destroy it rather than send it).

5)  Visualisation…

Sit quietly, see yourself in your mind’s eye…

See yourself standing on the edge of a quay, where the deep blue sea is in front of you.  As you look down at your feet you see a large, strong, black plastic sack on the floor.  Pick up the sack, open it, and imagine your anxiety thoughts being directed into it, like a stream of energy.  Send all of your worries and fears into the bag and watch it get fatter and bigger.  When you feel as though you have emptied yourself, tie the sack and throw it, or drop it into the sea in front of you.  Watch as the ocean melts the sack and all of your worries, allowing yourself to just let go of any attachment to problems. Watch until the black bag has completely disappeared and until there is nothing but the beautiful, calm sea in front of you.  Take a deep breath, acknowledge how calm you now feel.  Give thanks to the sea for helping you. Do this daily if required.  The sea can handle our energy!

6)  E.F.T. Tapping – if you’ve not heard of it, look it up on the internet.  It’s great!

7)  Remember that tomorrow is a new day, every experience is transitional, there is usually an answer to most problems, and we are never alone, even if it feels like we are!

Good luck x

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Just after I published my previous post about breakdown, someone asked me to clarify the statement included below, so that is what this article today will be about. I would state beforehand, that I’m not writing as an expert on spiritual matters.  What I am doing is briefly relating what I’ve learned because of what happened to me….

“….Another cause of breakdown is when we seek entry into the spiritual realms, where our vulnerable consciousness is unprepared for the force of negative energy that we expose ourselves to, when we open our mind to the unknown spiritual forces that exist”….

I felt disillusioned that spirit was not all about love and light, as I’d believed. As my experiences showed a side of spirit I thought only existed in horror movies!  I won’t be describing those here. Only pointing out that once we start working with higher dimensions and higher consciousness, and enter into unknown spiritual realms that contain more species, good and bad, than we could possibly envisage, we can be propelled into mental experiences we are unprepared for!

Spirituality has many illogical aspects to it.  Such as miracles that happen, spiritual  beings that manifest to warn, help or heal us.  Even the fact we can communicate with dead people and entities, can be classed as unbelievable by those who doubt.  I’m not saying it’s wrong to doubt anything, as discernment is our saviour.  But humans are a composite form of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy.  Yet whilst we accept all other aspects, there is suspicion about our spiritual nature.  But why must it still be like this, when our spiritual nature can provide so much assistance to help us cope with physical life!

We can’t see our thoughts or painful emotions, yet we know they are real because we experience them, even if we don’t fully understand, accept or validate them.  This is what it’s like when we communicate with the spiritual world. We transmit and translate through our higher mind. So I guess this is the problem… communication is conducted intuitively through the mind, so has to be channelled, interpreted and passed on to others by the receiver.  So if we can’t see or hear what they do, how do we know they are telling the truth?

Charlatans are eager to take our money, and mediumship provides an easy way to do this because it’s individualistic, un-provable nature, can fool many.  So we have to be selective about where we place our trust regarding these matters. But what happens when we seek spiritual truth through our own higher mind.  And make contact with discarnate people, entities, angels, monsters etc., whose images fill our enquiring, yet fearful mind, stimulating fearful egotistical thoughts because we can’t seem to control what we see or think.  How do we decide what is true, what is real or imaginary? Because images extend beyond the logical parameters of tangibility, stimulating our fear responses, how do we know whether we are imagining these things, really communicating with higher intelligence, having a mental breakdown or simply going insane?

Our logical mind determines our truth and reality.  So if something doesn’t meet our criteria for being real, we question its existence. Often relying on views of other people to determine the validity of what we’ve seen, regardless of our feelings about it.  Because of ego influences, we often find it difficult to admit we’re wrong or different from others.  If others are unable to validate what we perceive, we may then go on to judge our perception as wrong, or visions imaginary, even if they’re not.  So there are those who hear, see or sense the spiritual world, but deny it because no-one else can see what they do.  This can lead the individual to believe they are hallucinating, terrorising them into the world of mental illness and all that it contains.  Whereas if their visions could be validated and accepted, they could find a way to work logically with them.

Once we start crying out to God for help, soul-searching, meditating, contacting our guides, channelling information etc., we open our mind beyond our logical parameters, and enter a dimensional reality that has different rules to the physical world.  We make contact with spiritual beings and higher dimensions through our higher consciousness.  We open our senses and our mind! We hear with our internal ears, we see through our inner eyes, and every physical sense is activated, as we prepare to feel any communication that proves we are being heard. Some people don’t see, but sense through the way they physically feel.  Others can hear. Some people can see, hear  and sense.  Whatever, the communication is conducted through the persons own mind, where most of the time no-one else sees the same images, hears the same voices or feels exactly the same, for the same reasons.

There are different ways we prove that communication is real.  A touch, a sound, a feeling.  So when we do find a way to ‘make contact’, and get proof that someone or something on the other side is responding, we naturally want to communicate more. So we reduce our protective nature, and allow our energy to become more sensitive. We open our mind and senses more, so we can gain access to more on other dimensions!  Where eventually, if we’re not careful, we start to feel ‘elation’ that we’re living in both worlds, thus without an anchor to keep us steady.

This is when we become most vulnerable, because we’re dealing with the unknown spiritual world, but allowed our logical mentality, which keeps us protected, to subside!  The problem is that not all beings on other dimensions are friendly and nice.  As some of them are distressed, angry or just plain psychopathic.  For some reason their soul has remained afloat after their physical departure, and although in the world of spirit, they’ve not received the healing they need, so still retain their physical personality and emotional defects. We believe, we trust, we fear! Thus, because we’ve opened our energy to the spiritual world, we’re like victims of slimy-handed pickpockets in a crowded market place, leaving our valuables on display to be stolen.

When working with higher consciousness, we have to learn that images are real on that level. That’s why visualisation therapy is so helpful – its reality enables us to create change, and expands our ability to manifest. But as we’re still working through our conscious mind, our egotistical fear, and unconscious mind are still in play.  Where as we explore higher dimensions, visions in the spiritual world can stimulate ego prompts that evoke fearful images and concepts from the conscious and unconscious mind, that become mingled  together. Meaning we have to understand that whilst visions in our mind may not be totally real, there are some elements that are, so we have to work out true reality!

Many people have been helped and reassured by spirit communication.  And although I’ve been helped so much over the years by loving guides, I didn’t understand the rules  of energetic world that connects everything to everything else. Most mediums I know have no real problems with the spiritual world.  And I honestly don’t know why I’ve had such a hard time.  I used protective techniques, I called upon my guides and God for help.  I did what I thought I had to do, in order to stop attracting negative energy and entities toward me.  I pray things are different now though, as whilst I feel compassion for lost souls who linger out there, my sanity is more important to me.  So whereas before I’d disregard how I felt and put their welfare first, by working with them to my detriment, if helping means compromising my energy, I will put myself first and run for safety!

I think it’s probably a good time to relate one experience here, which happened to me nearly twenty years ago.  And regardless of whether you choose to believe it, I can assure you that although I was depressed, I was not psychotic.  I was awake, it was not a dream or vision, but a real, tangible happening, that for some reason was to become just one of many that I had to learn to deal with and understand…

Laying in bed one night, feeling terribly depressed, just like many other nights I called out to God, begging… ‘Please help me.  Tell me who my guides are so I can call on them to help me.  Dear God, help me feel better!’.  Suddenly from just above me, to the right, I heard a ‘Whoosh’ sound, and saw a large hand emerge out of nowhere.  As the hand opened in the darkness of the room, I saw that it held a large white egg in its palm.  Though stunned, I felt elated!  God had finally heard my cries of despair and was giving me a gift. I reached out my hand and took the egg that was being offered to me.  I could feel its shell, but when I examined it more closely I saw two large holes in it. The hand and the egg disappeared. But as I lay contemplating this miraculous manifestation, I felt disappointed about the broken egg! ‘Why was it broken?’ I wondered, as I lay in bed, trying to come to terms with what I’d just experienced.  I pinched myself to make sure I was awake, and looked around the room to make sure I was still where I should be. Suddenly I felt something touching my breasts.  As I looked down in disbelief I could see and feel my flesh moving underneath my nightdress, as though hands were groping me.  But there was no other human in the room! As the groping became more intense I tried to move but couldn’t.  I didn’t know what to do, as I didn’t know what the hands would do to me next, and in sheer terror I screamed out loudly ‘Fuck off…leave me alone’, repeating it a few times before the groping finally stopped.  I didn’t sleep for a week after that!

Seems far-fetched doesn’t it.  Regardless, this happened to me!  I didn’t imagine it happened!

We live according to human rules, which we ignore or deviate from if we choose.  But when we enter into higher consciousness, there are strict energetic, universal laws that come into play, that will never change, regardless of how much we try to prise them one way or another.  The law of attraction dictates that like attract like, so needy people who seek solace through the spiritual world, will attract needy spiritual beings on other dimensions.  If you are angry, depressed, proud or whatever, when channelling you will most certainly draw spirits toward you that match your agenda.  This is no accident, as dealing with the troubled spirit allows healing and learning for both parties, according to the law of reaction which states ‘What you give you get!’.

When we do make contact with a spirit, and it tells us things, we should remember not to trust them until we get to know them better, and have proven their help is actually helpful to us.  As whilst there are beautiful guides available to help us, the spiritual world contains both light and dark entities, just like good and bad humans on earth.  Meaning there are some dark spirits out there who want to con us, because they want something from us.  Namely our energy!  Because when they can nestle like a parasite into our energy field, they can survive using our power.  Where eventually as they become stronger, they try to overtake our personality and live our life as their own.

You may think your guides will help, the angels will protect you.  But are you sure your guides are working for the highest good?  And are you experiencing your own feelings – or are you picking up on the feelings of an earthbound entity that has attached itself to you, because you’re feeling as bad as it, where like attracts like!

It’s a wonderful experience when we make contact with the energy of an angel, or higher spiritual guide.  Their sublime energy embraces you as you feel the warmth of their touch, or sense their presence, or  hear their words of comfort in your mind.  But it’s a different matter when you are touched by a dark entity, whose craftiness and despairing need clings on to your energy, sapping your strength and will.  The problem is, if you are already over-burdened, you may not even recognise the deepening depression, the extra-anxiety, the intensifying  feelings of heaviness on your shoulders.  You may think it’s just you!

If ever I’m in doubt, I close my eyes, put my attention to my mind, and say this out loud three times…

‘I ask my higher guides to remove all negative energy/entities from my energy system’.

I then try to sense energy rising upwards, from my body, leaving through the top of my head.  Try it whenever you feel low, see what you think!

We can choose to develop our sensitivity to such a level that we can feel other people’s pain.  We can hear their thoughts before they acknowledge them, we can sense what they are feeling and why, before even they are aware.  This is what happened to me a few years ago, where after working so hard to make myself more sensitive, my need for sanity meant I had to learn how to desensitize myself, because it didn’t feel good in any way. Opening our mind to higher consciousness means we’re able to see the truth of the world.  But we’re not used to this level of honesty and clarity, so as we try to make sense of our experiences, it can freak us out!

There are many who dismiss clairvoyance as ‘just imagination’, refusing to accept there is a spiritual reality at all. Simply because they cannot see, hear of feel what the medium can.  It’s for this reason that psychics have been classified as fraudulent, psychotic, insane, or simply having a vivid imagination.  But I am genuine and my experiences felt very real! Such as messages that proved correct, guidance that helped me and others.  Extraterrestrials who gave information about the birth of mankind and its development.  It also felt very real when I was sitting having a cup of tea one morning, when a native American guide manifested unexpectedly in front of me.  That was a total surprise I can tell you!  But these are the good things.

The bad elements also felt very real.  The aliens exiting from open vortices into our world, the hideous soul energy of murderers who still believe they have the right to harm others, the terrible pain of discarnate souls who committed suicide to find some peace, but are still earthbound.  The terror that rose in me during times I realised entities had firmly attached to me, that could drive me to the brink of insanity.  The worst of these times happened in 1987, 1996 and 2006.  Where the struggle to regain my personality after breakdown, felt very real I can assure you!

My experiences have proven the spiritual world is real to those who have opened their mind, consciousness and heart.  Images we see through our mind can be real or imagined – this is the predicament.  How do we know truth? I tried to conduct my spiritual behaviour according to my egotistical nature and its rules.  But it doesn’t work like that in the spiritual world! My energy was weak because I lacked self-confidence. I wanted to help them, but fear was so deeply ingrained within my personality that I made myself a target.

I hate it that I’ve had to experience the dark side of spirit.  I don’t feel a victim, as I know that whatever has occurred was for a valid reason. But when we lack experience, and are being fed energetically harmful information, our logical mind and physical personality can implode. Causing enormous overwhelm to our sanity, because we find it difficult to work out what is real and what isn’t any more!  Leading us to fear, with increasing terror, that we are losing our sanity, because we cannot control or stop the dark images, thoughts and feelings, that we have unwittingly welcomed into our personal energetic world!

I would clarify at this point that there are those who suffer mental health problems, for a variety of reasons, who are delusional and claim to have spiritual visitations. Where it’s vital they receive appropriate expert help.  And I accept that sometimes it’s difficult to determine if a person is unbalanced, authentically channelling information or just cold reading (as the experts call it).  My concern is, our soul energy is awakening to the call of natural evolution. Meaning we will all become more intuitive in the not too distant future.

But what will happen when your mind opens to other dimensions.  If you doubt spiritual reality, will you automatically assume the person who receives channelled guidance to be delusional, including you?  Because if so, you could hold yourself back by denying the crucial help you need! Or will you throw yourself in at the deep end, and just believe whatever you are told by beings you deem as having higher intelligence, when they have not?

This is the predicament mentioned earlier!  We live adult life according to what we were told as children.  We believed what we were told, even if it wasn’t true, because regardless, we thought ‘they’ knew better than us.  This is the same when we start to channel.  We believe spirit is good because that is what we’ve been told. We create new beliefs around our mediumship, and experience a new sense of power that we have another world at our disposal! It can make us feel very powerful, elated, in control, all-knowing and seeing.  It can also destroy our lives unless we close our mind, reject the images and allow our consciousness to come back to physical earth.  Then, next time we start communicating with other dimensions, once we’ve recovered our lucidity and trust we are sane, we will remain in control of our mind, take it more slowly and not believe every spirit is good, or knows best.

So we have to make up our own mind about what to believe, when we catch sight of dead people, angels, our guides and other entities.  And decipher whether our imagination is just running away with what we think we should be seeing, or even what we’re most afraid of seeing.  But maybe we need help to do just that!  What are your thoughts?

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Life is glorious, life is magical, but life is so bloody hard at times, I’m amazed that so many of us survive for as long as we do.  The human body is a miracle, in that something so fragile as our skin, organs and bones can withstand so much pain and trauma, yet we still live, we still breathe, we still survive – somehow!

But when our mind becomes broken, our world stops.  And as we enter what I can only describe through personal experience, as the hell of insanity, instead of us being in control of our mind, our desperate, destructive thoughts compel us to take action that can harm us or others, because it, our negative personality, has taken control of us!

And even though we still breathe and survive, we stop living for a time, until we regain our sense of self, and can start to rebuild our confidence enough to start living our life again.  But even then, we are so scared by what’s happened to us, and afraid that it might happen again, we can if we’re not careful, teeter anxiously on the verge of insanity for the rest of our lives!

Many people are living on the edge of the proverbial cliff at the moment, due to the political and financial climate that affects us all in some way.  This means most of us are under extra stress. And whilst most people cope with their situation and how they are feeling, there are many who don’t!  People of all ages whose thoughts and emotions juxtaposition themselves into a crisis that cannot be contained within their over-filled anxious mind, and where lack of control over their life and their self creates an emotional or mental breakdown that can take months, or even years to recover from.

You don’t have to be weak to have a breakdown. You can be strong and resilient.  You can be resourceful and energetic.  You could be positive and have good intentions – but when that overload occurs, none of this seems to be enough to withstand the torrent of negativity that surfaces, as a consequence of repressed emotion, depression and anxiety, that leads to breakdown.

There are many causes of breakdown, including basic things like too much stress, boredom, emotional disturbance caused by addictive dependencies etc.   In fact anything that creates what we perceive as an irresolvable  problem for us, makes us susceptible to breakdown. Because as we struggle to work it out, and can’t, we focus our creative mind on impossibilities that create a spiralling energy, that can overwhelm and debilitate us even more, eventually tipping the balance that allows our negative mind to gain overall control of our sense of logic – because we’re too tired to fight our thoughts any more!

Another cause of breakdown is when we seek entry into the spiritual realms, where our vulnerable consciousness is unprepared for the force of negative energy that we expose ourselves to, when we open our mind to the unknown spiritual forces that exist.

And whilst in any breakdown, the negative mind will do it’s utmost to keep us paralysed in fear, until we become strong enough to challenge it once more and regain control.  Spiritually induced breakdown is different, in that our negative thoughts and visions may just be true on a different dimensional level, and what we witness real.  Where trying to survive our extreme terror, as we strive to define true reality, causes us our biggest problems!

As we recover from breakdown, it’s normal to wonder if life will ever return to normal.  Our traumatised self doesn’t find it easy any more to do simple tasks, to plan simple things in advance, to do simple things that bring us pleasure.  But this doesn’t mean that life cannot or will not be good in the future.  It just means that somehow we have to find a different way to live life, to look after ourself.  And identify a better way to manage who we are and what we do.

This journey is a process, that can take a long time. Because it involves walking a path of stepping-stones that lead us on slowly but surely to the next stage of our life.  Where as our mind, confidence and emotions heal themselves, just like our broken bones do, we can if we look hard and long enough, find the true purpose for our existence, that can allow us accept that our suffering has been worthwhile!

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